An Artist's Quest for "Soul" in a Chaotic World—by InnerSpirit

This is my InnerSpirit blog page...a page of reflection...inquiry...
and artistic questions about myself, my life, and the world around me. A place for my own personal contemplation of my emotions, my actions, my art, my spiritual journey and how they all intertwine and influence each other. I hope that you check it out, think a little about your life and the many creative things that you might be engaged do those fit into your life and impact the various aspects of your own life? Let's reflect together!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Final Day...Tomorrow I Have a Life Back

I suppose that saying "Tomorrow I'll have my life back" might be a little extreme. I know that that this thesis proposal, and later, the second class where I actually do the research and put all the data into the thesis is a part of my life. I am just not enjoying this particular part of my life. It is one of the many academic "hoops" that I am required to jump through on the way to the Master of Arts in Art Therapy degree that I am completing. Somehow, I still don't get how writing a research thesis is really proving to anyone that I am going to make a good or a better art therapist than if I did not complete one. Having already completed an undergraduate degree in fine art, lots of hoops there...though most of those were conceptual and learning how to talk the "art language" as I call it, and then completing a Master of Social Work degree, I know all about the "hoops" that are set up and the "games" that must be played to get to the end of the academic degree that is being sought. Someone else sets up the criteria that is deemed worthy of allowing you to enter into the professional circle that they "covet". This is my second career, the first being a graphic artist/art director for over 25 years, and now a social worker and soon to be art therapist. Each professional "circle" has it's criteria, it's "initiation process" as I like to think of it. It's like making the new person pay their dues. I realize it is in the name of academic excellence and learning the craft/profession...but sometimes I think the "hoops" are there just to see if you can really cut it. After all, it takes some stamina and some real passion about what you want to do to stick with any degree to the end. Whatever the particular passion for that is, you have to have it.

Persistence and Passion
If it wasn't for my belief that God has given me this gift of art, and that I am supposed to use in it in the second half of my life as a way of helping others to heal, I don't think that I would have been able to survive this second Master's Degree. I have been shown time and time again that I continue to be on the path that God has laid out for me. When I am almost ready to give up, or I think I just cannot keep up the stamina to complete all the work required, God steps in and shows me that I can. Doors have opened to amazing internships, jobs and connections with people that have proven to me time and time again, that this is the path that I am supposed to be on...hard or not. So I trudge forward. I pray each day as I sit down to write this thesis proposal. I light three candles and say a special prayer as I light each one and ask God to step into my soul and speak through me and give me strength and clarity to go through yet another "hoop" in the academic circus to get to the the other side, and to ultimately become an art therapist. Each time that I think I am going to give up, and I pray to God about what I am supposed to answer is always that I have been given this gift for more than just making pretty pictures...and a door opens, my strength returns, the words flow. So once again, today I will light the candles, say the prayers, and hope that God continues to lead me as I write the final version of this thesis proposal.

Pressing the "Send" Button
I have a bottle of special Toasted Head Chardonnay ready for a special glass of wine to celebrate the end of a long research and writing process. I know that I will make it to the end, one way or another, with God's support. I want to celebrate and savor each success along the long road to the end—SO when this proposal is sent in, via email, I intend to drink my wine, and swirl the lovely, buttery, oaky flavor in my mouth and swallow it slowly as I say "thank you" in a silent prayer.

What things are your striving toward in your life that you feel the "hand of God" upon? Are there times that you wonder if you are strong enough to make it to the goal? Do you pray? Do you ever have doors open or special messages come you way that help you to see that you are still on the right path and have not taken a wrong turn? Please share your own experiences, I would love to hear how God works in other people's lives.

I'd  better light my candles and start typing, I have a long day ahead of me, but I know God will help me.

Blessings and Love,

photo credit:

1 comment:

  1. I totally understand about the insanity of writing a thesis --the amount of writing and research and formulation of ideas etc can truly wipe out ones' energy....I hope your life truly returns .....I wanted to thank you for the prayers for my dog being hunnie found her a few hours after I wrote that tweet...I am thrilled and relieved...thanks!
    I hope all is well for you....please stay in touch...and take care of you!