An Artist's Quest for "Soul" in a Chaotic World—by InnerSpirit

This is my InnerSpirit blog page...a page of reflection...inquiry...
and artistic questions about myself, my life, and the world around me. A place for my own personal contemplation of my emotions, my actions, my art, my spiritual journey and how they all intertwine and influence each other. I hope that you check it out, think a little about your life and the many creative things that you might be engaged do those fit into your life and impact the various aspects of your own life? Let's reflect together!

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Roulette Wheel of Life

I have been thinking a lot about this sketch that I did about a year and a half ago during a worship service in my church. I usually find myself sketching thoughts that come into my mind that are evoked from particular ideas surrounding the topic of the day. Doing these types of sketches and other larger color paintings or drawings during these moments have provided me with a wealth of knowledge about my innerspirit and things that are going on in my heart and soul.

What Color Will You Choose?
Often, these images generate questions or queries about areas of my life that I was unaware were either problematic or challenging. This sketch is a perfect example of how this process provides me with knowledge about my unconscious thoughts or fears and helps me to crystallize behaviors or patterns that are reflective of how I live my life or should be living my life. I can see the two sides of my personality reflected very vividly in this artwork. My conservative, and analytical "Don't Do It" side and my opposing passionate, adventurous side saying "Dive In, It Will Be Okay."

Taking a Ride on the Wheel
This sketch constantly continues to remind me that my fears are often much bigger in my own mind than they really are in the big picture of life. As I reflect on it, time and time again, I realize that I miss out on a lot of experiences in my life because I allow myself to get so caught up in analyzing and predetermining the outcomes, that I miss opportunities for experiences that might be very fulfilling and energizing. I am trying to learn that there is a healthy balance in "playing devil's advocate" around the safety or practicality of certain choices in my life but at the same time not allowing that overly analytical side to become a fear monger which squelches the life right out of me. Sometimes, I believe it is healthier to just hop on the red square on the wheel, take the risk to experience the moment and all the feelings, sounds, sights, and emotions that those moments in life provide and know that when the wheel stops you can just get off at the next stop. It doesn't matter whether the square is red or black. You still can always get off life's track for a while if you want to and explore how the new place feels to you, or you can just roll yourself back onto the wheel and go around again. There are always choices in this life, the question I just need to ask myself more often is whether I am willing to take the risks to be able to explore the wealth of experiences that are out there, or if I will allow the fearful side of my personality to freeze me into stagnancy? I am trying to choose to play the game of life a little more aggressively and to take more risks.

Are there any risks you are trying to wrestle with or areas you feel stagnant in?

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