An Artist's Quest for "Soul" in a Chaotic World—by InnerSpirit

AEDM 2011 Is Still Stretching Me This Year

2011-11-13T23:21:00.001-05:00

As I continue with Art Every Day Month 2011 I am continuing to try and STRETCH myself a bit. I have been working with my iPad exclusively the last few days. I should get back to my website, but after uploading all of those art pieces, I was feeling like I needed a break. I am still working at trying to make the the iPad apps that I am using to feel a little more comfortable and not like I have to think about everything that I do, every brushstroke etc. Thinking about "how to do something" after being able to just "DO IT" with traditional media is kind of frustrating for me and sometimes I put the new stuff down because it "hurts my head" trying to figure it all out and I long for the old traditional mediums.

BUT...I try and remember how I felt when I first started using Photoshop and I thought, I will NEVER understand this program. Then I began teaching it, so anything is possible I tell myself. So...my focus the last three days was iPad using two of my favorite apps, ArtRage and ArtStudio. I was able to get them to mimic some traditional media that I am used to using. The sketching technique was a bit hard to get used to, but the results are coming together after much trial and error at tonight's Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School-Grand Rapids. If you are interested, you might have one in your area...it is loads of fun. Burlesque meets art, sketching burlesque models for three hours and then live burlesque. Look it up on the internet, there are many groups all over the country.

©InnerSpirit/Diane M. McKnight

Days 11, 12, and 13

The first painting was just created with me playing in ArtRage with the brushstrokes and I ended up liking how it turned out. The second spiral effect painting is just in the beginning stages and it is a small segment in the middle of a bigger painting the I am working on in ArtStudio, but I thought I would show what I am doing as it evolves.

©InnerSpirit/Diane M. McKnight

Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School

There are several sketches here of varying lengths of time. I thought I would put a fun "themed" sketch in here, since it is rather out of my normal realm to do the little "contests" that the Dr. Sketchy group offers for free drinks and prizes. But I did one tonight because I saw something that I thought could work. They usually ask the audience to make suggestions for "themes" to draw the model doing. Then they pick one out of "the box". This theme was "draw the model as a monster". I had to have a little fun while I was plugging away at learning my little iPad. AND...I could have won a drink, but no luck, I had to buy my own wine tonight. Maybe next time though. :)

©InnerSpirit/Diane M. McKnight

I would like to add a disclaimer to these iPad drawings: The artist creating these is still adjusting to creating sketches that mimic pencil drawings and any shading, line work and general rudimentary qualities of these drawings should be overlooked in the estimation of said artists true abilities. That said, it is a process, and it is getting better as I go. You have to start somewhere, and I can only get better.

Do you have any art mediums, projects or other things in life that you sometimes find very daunting to tackle? Are you trying to figure out how to start? Please share your stories of "firsts" or "trial and error" on something that was difficult for you. I would love to hear what challenges others are facing.

Blessings and Love,
D.

AEDM 2011 Waves Are High

2011-11-11T01:21:00.001-05:00

This year's Art Every Day Month 2011 feels very disjointed for me for some reason. I feel like I am jumping all around creatively right now...a little bit here, a little bit there. I am trying to work all of this around the other things that are going on with my Master's of Art Therapy degree so I guess I should not be so hard on myself and just ride the waves of creativity wherever they take me. So, here go the posts...hold on for the wavy ride!

Cocoa loves his blue ball!

Little Cocoa waiting patiently.

Day Seven:
I did not really do too much creatively this day, though I did try and take advantage of one of the last lovely fall days that we had before the snow started in today. I began reading The Validation Breakdown which is feeding my soul and helping me to better understand and help the elderly with dementia that I work with every day, so they are not so frightened and angry. Understanding their situation and learning how to better my compassion for them helps to make me feel good inside and that leads to positive energy coming in that can later be put back out in my art or art for healing. Playing ball with my little buddy, Cocoa also helps feed my soul!

Day Eight:
I went back to work on my website design. I started importing photographs in of my artwork and then I worked on adding all the titles, sizes, medium listings etc. That was very time consuming and it is still is not done. That did me in for the evening, but I am making progress toward my goal. I just have to breathe.

©InnerSpirit/Diane M. McKnight

Day Nine:
I decided to start working on collecting collage elements to add to the painting that I started earlier this month at my friends studio. I started collecting images that just "called out to me" while flipping through magazines and I started ripping them out. This is a way of working that I often use with clients since it allows free association and a bit of the "serendipity of the moment", and it also allows people to get away from their cognitive side for a while. After I got a good pile of images, I cut some out and started playing around with the composition without trying to do much processing of what the imagery might mean to me. That will be the other part of this project, where I will explore what I feel may be hidden messages or meanings that my art might be trying to tell me. More on that as this artwork progresses (sorry about the glare from the overhead light on the glossy magazine cutout pieces). I will be refining the images and composition and then adhering them to the canvas with acrylic matte medium.

Day Ten
I signed up to take Reiki training Classes. I have wanted to take lessons in this forever, but I kept putting it off for various reasons (money, timing, etc.). Today I decided that I was just going to have to dive in and sign up! This really is a creative move since I have often found that when I am moving forward on my spiritual journey which is directly tied into my journey toward helping others to heal, I am overcome with creative potential and ideas that I can record and come back to later.

Everyone is doing some fantastic artwork for Art Every Day Month 2011. Go to the main website and click on the participants posts for each day to see some other terrific artists works. Are you participating in AEDM or have you ever considered taking the plunge and trying it?

Blessings and Love,
D.

AEDM 2011-Creativity Comes Around Again

2011-11-06T21:23:00.000-05:00

Behind Already In The Posting

Once again this year I am participating in Art Every Day Month 2011 created and ran each year by Leah Piken Kolidas. Well, as usual, I am always trying to get lots of different things done. My mind is always flowing with many projects and thoughts. Though my projects may seem haphazard, there is usually some coherence or common thread between them all so I have learned to just go with the flow and embrace creativity however it is manifested. It seems that the only time that I really write in this blog is during AEDM. I keep saying that I am going to get better and here we are again. Posting some I guess is better than none...though that doesn't really get many followers.

I decided this year for AEDM that I would incorporate some creative work that I need to get done for my website into part of the daily creative sessions. This way, it will actually give me the motivation to get something moving forward in that department. It has sat idle WAY too long! So...I started out this month with a sporadic array of creative endeavors, which, other than the website agenda, they have been pretty unplanned. A small correction to that statement, the tattoo designs have been rolling around in my head for some time, and I had already decided on the Chinese writing symbol for "God" and the Reiki symbol for inside of the circles.

The Sporadic Way That My Creativity Flows
Day One: I started this painting at a friend's studio during a little "art date" that we had planned. I was inspired by some of the various shapes of metal pieces that she had down in her studio in a box. I used them as stencils and painted around them. It was "freeing" to be in someone else's studio and using their art supplies. We decided that night that drinking wine and painting just naturally flow together. I am having her over to my studio next time so she can experience the same feelings of freedom. I will work some more on this one later in the month I hope.

Day Two: I worked on completing two tattoo designs. I had already downloaded the two symbols I wanted to use. The one in the top circle is the Chinese Lettering for "GOD" and the one below is the Reiki symbol Cho Ku Ray "The Power Symbol", which also means "God and man coming together". I added the gradated circle behind the symbols in InkPad, an iPad app that is very similar to Adobe Illustrator. I really liked the way that they turned out, so I emailed them to my tattoo artist for a later appointment.

Day Three: I reviewed my website package pricing and the additions and features that have made to the site since I last had looked into using this company as my way to build my page. I also reviewed all the website samples again, since a lot of them were new and used the new features that are now available to members. They have made some very useful and exciting additions and I was excited that they have included some promotions such as three free months if you sign up for a year of monthly billing or one whole year FREE if you pay for a whole year in advance. I thought that I could not go wrong with that, so I plunged in and started the two week free trial. This allows you to start building your website and if you still like what is happening and how easy it is to work with, you just sign up and all of your work is kept and you have not lost anything. I am so excited to actually be STARTING this project!

Day Four: I revisited a project I started several months ago where I created a few variations on my iPad of designs from a photograph that I took of one of the flowers in my garden. I had still not been extremely happy with the variations that I did before, so I took them even further and I was happy with how these two turned out. I enjoyed playing with all the textures and colors in these apps. I will be going back into these with my colored pencil app on the iPad or iPhone and do some additions to them to pull out some of the shapes at a later date. Maybe even this month.

Day Five: I was back at my website deign. Unfortunately, I am not able to post this creative endeavor in progress, but I will be sure to let everyone know how it turns out and the website link will be posted on my fb page, my blog and I will also twitter it. Today I worked on adding my logo and some basic navigation tabs that I want to have on it. Such as workshops, private sessions, fine art, blog, books/resources, bio/about me, contact info, mailing list, purchases, etc. I mapped out the skeleton framework that I would like to start with and see if that works. I can change and customize my templates at any time if it doesn't work out.

Day Six: I created an abstract design in an iPad app that I really like, and then pulled it into Grungetastic iPad app and created the three design variations above that I really think are fun. I like the orange and blue design as it is, but I might pull the other two into another app and do some work with them just to see where it goes.

Wow, this was a very long blog post, but I was playing catch up. The work week starts tomorrow and I am going to try and get more done on the website, but I am also still working on trying to get my corrections and changes done for the IRB committee so that I can start collecting my data for my Thesis so I may be slow on the posting this week.

I would love to hear any comments or suggestions that people have about the array of things I am working on during the AEDM 2011. I am excited to continue on and see what others are doing in their blog posts.

Much Love and Blessings,
D.

Using Art Explorations To Relax My Anxiety

2011-06-29T01:13:00.000-04:00


Feminine Mystique ©InnerSpirit

Creative Play With Technology

I have been playing for the past year and a half with the various art and painting apps that have come out for the iPhone. Every time something new comes out I have downloaded it and played to see which of the apps out there work the best, are the most versatile, and which ones can be combined by importing and exporting into each other to create further creative options, etc. I have been creating drawings and paintings on the iPhone for a while now, as I have been testing these new apps out. Up until now, I have posted most of these art explorations on my InnerSpirit facebook page in a photo album called "iPhone and iPad experiments" (see the link to the right of this post) if you would like to check out more of the artwork I am working on at this time.

It has really been a lot of fun playing around with these apps and it has been therapeutic for me at the same time. Since I have not had a lot of time this past year, doing small projects such as these, have really helped me to feel creative without having to make a really long time commitment to a larger scale art project. I have also found that these new art apps have gotten me to explore and to play a bit more than normal and in the process, I think that I have gotten some pretty cool art out of the deal, along with helping to maintain my own sanity in a very trying time professionally and personally.

Untitled Work In-Progress ©Innerspirit

My Tax Refund Treat To Myself

I recently bought an iPad so that I could work with a little larger canvas (well, in reality, the canvas SIZE is not actually bigger since it is the same pixel dimensions in both the iPhone 4 and the iPad 2, but I don't have to enlarge it and reduce it as frequently in the iPad 2 as I do in the iPhone 4, so it FEELS larger). I also purchased the iPad 2 to explore using it for art therapy interventions with my hospice patients since I don't have a long visit time for setting up and tearing down of traditional media. I am in the process of getting together some initial interventions that will meet the goals of my patients using this medium, so it is a new adventure all the way around.

I thought it might be interesting to post some of my iPad/iPhone work here on my blog and future updates on how things are going with my patients as I introduce some of these apps to them. I usually draw on the screen with my fingers, but I purchased a Pogo Sketch Stylus and two different Nomad Brushes (a long hair and short hair) to give my patients some personal preference options in addition to the fingerpainting option).

The first art piece on this page is titled "Feminine Mystique" and it was created on the iPad 2 in two different apps. I love the mystery of this female figure and it's apparent vulnerability . The second art piece is a "work in progress", so it is untitled currently. I imported a photo that I took on my iphone into one of the art apps and created and added some textures to it. I have recently moved this art into another app and I am currently adding some handrawn effects to it that I will post in another blog...stay tuned for more of this second one as it evolves.

Do you have any new art experiments you are working on? I would love to hear about them.

Much Love And Blessings,

High Tech Easter Egg Dying: No Colored Fingers!

2011-04-22T23:14:00.000-04:00

Creative Fingerpainting

I was thinking today about coloring Easter eggs with my daughter in "Days Gone By". I was reminiscing a bit and thinking how I missed doing that, but in the course of my memories I also remembered the mess that those eggs caused. In our house, "the house of an artist", of course...the plain old solid colored eggs, or even two toned eggs "just did not fly"! We ended up using our hands and fingers to dip and dye in many angles with overlapping stripes and then using our fingers to put dots on the eggs, etc. The sky was the limits to our creativity. We always ended up with "dyed fingers" in the process of creating such beautifully colored eggs!

An Easter Egg Fix Without The Mess
Wanting to foster my fixation with Easter eggs today, I went online to see if anyone else had posted any eggs that they had made with their family and in my google search I came upon a wonderful little electronic Easter Egg Maker. Oh Yes, I had found my "egg dealer" to get my "Egg Fix" and I submerged myself in this new endeavor! I set off playing with several variations and even sent a few off as little Easter cards to some family members and friends via the email option that the website gave. These little personalize eggs were put in a cute little basket and then sent out to the people you selected to share them with. What a cool idea!

I've included a few of my little egg creations that I made here, just to show off. I should be ALL SET if I ever become a grandma. These designs seem more refined than the ones that my daughter and I created, but it did allow me to have a little fun today and to go down memory lane. My daughter is 20 now, she is in college and she lives in Chicago. She has her own apartment now and when I talked to her last, her and her roommate were making Easter Eggs together. I hope she thought of me when she was doing them with her friend Amy, much like I thought of our sweet, cherished memories today when I was creating my eggs.

Did you do Easter Eggs with anyone this year? Do you have a great Easter Egg making memory that you are willing to share? I would love to hear of others that miss this process...AND if you aren't able to do the old fashioned "dying" way try this online version and let me know how it went for you.

Much Love and Blessings,

Christmas Season Is Unfolding And My Gifts Are Naked

2010-12-23T23:35:00.000-05:00

It's the night before Christmas Eve and not a creature is stirring...not even a mouse...though I hope I don't have mice! My dog Cocoa is crashed soundly in his bed after suffering through a much needed bath, a combing and then his "special" treat for putting up with all that whole ordeal. My daughter, who just arrived home from driving in from her apartment in Chicago, rushed in, gave me a quick kiss and hug, changed her clothes and zoomed out the door to meet friends who were also home visiting their families for the holidays. Such is the empty nest life I guess. So here I sit...alone with my dog and cat, listening to Christmas carols and wrapping a few gifts.

I started out fully engaged in this gift wrapping extravaganza until I decided that I needed some photos for this blog, being a "past life" graphic designer, I know these things are way more enticing if there are some photos to draw visual interest of the reader. That's when I got diverted!...and MUCH more interested in playing with my iphone camera — using some of the cool photo apps that I don't always get to play with as much as I would like to. Off I went, the artist in me at play...the next thing I knew an hour had gone by and no gifts were wrapped! I did get these photos from Hipstamatic that I liked the gritty edge filter and the film that I was playing with though. As you can see, I have candles burning to go with my Christmas music wrapping mode.

As I am contemplating the stack of naked gifts yet to be wrapped, I am reminded of the "upscale" client of my mother's that allowed me to spend 3 days at her house wrapping Christmas presents one year in high school for a pretty good income! Her whole living room was stacked high with extravagant gifts and I got paid well to wrap them and make them look gorgeous. They made my little grouping of gifts for my daughter and other family members dwarf in comparison to volume and expense. But, Christmas is not about the commercialism that our economy tries to dazzle us with...it's about love, grace, and a miracle!

As far as miracles go...I am hoping one comes my way and helps me get these gifts wrapped! I could use some help myself right about now. If you are crashing and burning yourself trying to get last minute shopping done and all the gifts wrapped in time, consider "downsizing Christmas" and focusing on the love and intention behind each gift and not on the volume of the gifts. Take a minute to reflect on the true meaning of this season and don't let the "advertising group" convince you that you have to buy, buy, buy. Simplify your holiday season and lower your stress. Take it from an artist who was an art director for 25 years, it is all about creating "want" in the consumer, no matter how unneeded the item is!

Have a safe, happy and blessed Christmas! If you do take time to ponder the real meaning of this holiday season or you decide to actually "downsize" it this year...I would be interested in hearing what your thoughts and/or actions were with this. I really am curious.

Blessings and Love,
D.

Relaxing, Mindless Doodling: Day 27

2010-11-28T00:06:00.000-05:00

Just Going With The Flow

Trying to get a little bit of Art Every Day Month done in between homework. This is my last full weekend that I have available for homework, otherwise it is just evenings this week after work and everything is due December 4th at noon, so I am just doodling a bit to possibly get some backgrounds that I can use later for some additional art pieces. (Click on any image to see a larger view)

This is what I got today, which is more than I had before I started, so yeh! Art Every Day Month is still allowing me to create more art than when I wasn't doing it, even with my homework demands. I know a lot of us are probably tired with all the holiday things going on right now, but it amazing what some of the the other artists are still creating. Click on the Art Every Day Month link above to see what they are doing. It seems that everyone is having a great time with this months fun and a lot of GREAT artwork is being produced!

Blessings and Much Love,

Thanksgiving Day: Day 25

2010-11-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

Giving thanks... for my family and my cute little dog buddy, Cocoa! I did not have time this day to do anything too creative, but I did take a picture of my daughter and my dog cocoa. He was very tired after a long day of seeing all his human relatives and his "brother" from another litter that my mom adopted from the same breeder. I couldn't resist capturing this photo since Cocoa was looking so cute as he was trying to sleep in my daughters arms. I have a photo that includes my daughters face along with Cocoa, which I did not think was bad, but my daughter made a "face" when I showed it to her on my phone after shooting it and I know if she ever knew that I posted it anywhere on the internet she would "hate me", so I am being respectful...thus why she is cut off.

This is my contribution to Art Every Day Month, a cute dog photo, and my resting and enjoying family. This will enhance my creativity the rest of the week by taking some down time. Did everyone else have a great holiday? What did you do that was restful?

See you soon, Much Love and Blessings,

D.

Standing Resolute And Waiting: Day 24

2010-11-24T22:08:00.001-05:00

Breathing Deep And Holding My Ground

I started this art piece from another background that I created in Fluid Painter, working much like I did when I created the blob art on Day 22. The original image can be seen on my blog post from Day 8 (the second image in the post) if anyone is interested. I played with several layer effects on top of each other until finally this image seemed to speak to me and I knew it was complete. I will tell you what I saw in this in a moment. (Click on the image to see a larger more detailed view).

I know everyone sees different things in abstract work, which is probably why I have become so intrigued by it the last few years. I used to only do high realism when I created art. That was what I was taught in art school, and that was what I thought the majority of society thought good art was. Sure, there were abstract works in museums, rich collectors who bought them at high prices, and we studied all the great abstract artists in my art history courses in college, but somehow I still walked away from my Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree feeling like good art was very representational and needed to look like the subject you were seeing, either directly before you, or in your minds eye. Most of my immediate family, friends, and other artists I knew at the time also seemed to validate that belief for me. It wasn't until a few years ago when I just started playing with art and trying to have fun all over again that I discovered how wonderful and freeing abstract work can be for the soul.

Moving The Soul To Connect With My True Self
I guess the connection that abstract work made with my soul is what got me hooked. I was not about selling my art at the time as much as about freeing my soul to run and play and feel safe to explore. That is what I found when I let myself go with this new way of creating. I still like to do a realistic drawing now and then just to keep my hand in and to hone my drawing skills, but that is for another purpose entirely. It still feeds my soul, but it feeds the part of it that dwells in regiment, control, safety and wanting to understanding another thing well enough be able to draw it meticulously. This is something that my artist soul also needs at times, but the FREEDOM to PLAY is what lights up my InnerSpirit and connects me with my spiritual realm.

In this image I saw a bold, solid megalith of a man or woman (reminding me of the androgynous megaliths that stand on Easter Island) forming itself out of the rolling waves at the right and becoming larger than life against the blue, vast, swirling sky. It stands resolutely and almost defiantly against the bold landscape with a large mushroom behind him/her on their left. The mushroom was a curious image for me to see and I saw it very distinctly, so I wondered if it had any significance for me. I did a little research into some of the symbolic meanings that have been attributed to mushrooms just for fun.

In the Chinese culture, Shitake mushrooms have long been a symbol of longevity. I don't know if this mushroom is Shitake, but longevity would blend with the resolute and strong image of the megalith. (This photo was taken by Yamanaka Tamaki) When I searched for other mushroom symbolism, most of the resources for interpreting your dream symbols suggest that mushrooms signify unhealthy pleasures and unwise decisions in your waking life. The dream resources suggest that a mushroom shows up to warn you that things that come too quickly have a tendency to disappear just as quick and that you should learn to appreciate the things you have. Hmm...something to ponder here.

I am not sure what it all means yet. I usually like to sit with some images for a few days and let them roll around in my mind and heart until the message comes through clearly. Just on the fly, I feel it has something definitely to do with being dedicated and standing by what I believe in...in my case I feel that it might be telling me that I am stronger than I sometimes feel and that I can weather the storms, after all, the statues still stand on Easter Island and the megaliths at Stonehedge have stood the test of time and elements quite well (I have even seen these first hand, which if you ever travel there you must go...they are awesome). This message appears to be more of the message that I got from my conversation with my blind contour drawing on my Day 22 blog post. Hmm...someone is trying to tell me something and they are afraid that I might not be listening so the message appears to be getting louder and stronger. Maybe I better start paying attention or I am going to be having lots of megaliths in my art!

I better get back to my homework and stand resolute to get the last of it done so that I will have one more semester out of the way! Next semester I finish my final thesis/research course and all my actual classes will be done in April. I will then just be an internship away from completion of my Master of Arts in Art Therapy. That will be a celebration for sure! Maybe I will even travel to see a Megalith again just to say thank you in person!

Do you have symbols that have been coming up for you lately in your artwork. Have you ever taken the time to think about what their meaning might be to you? Do you believe that art can speak metaphorically to you? Please share some of your symbolism and experiences you have had with this with me. I would love to hear about it.

Blessings and Much Love,

D.

Playing With Blobs: Day 22

2010-11-22T22:24:00.001-05:00

Still Playing With Photoshop

I got out my Wacom Tablet today to do a little playing since I have not used it in quite sometime. I started out with one of the drawings that I posted at the beginning of the month that I did in Fluid Painter and used that as the original background. Then I started playing with drawing various brush strokes, but I quickly decided that I did not like what was happening and switched gears. I ran the poster edges filter over the background and I got a cool effect that I liked and then I started just playing around with hues, saturation and layer effects until I got something that spoke to me today. I added some simple shapes and found a pleasing composition that was kind of fun! (click on the image to view a larger version)

I hope everyone will forgive me for not writing a lot today, I have been up since 4:00 a.m. to finish a 20 page research paper before starting work, on adolescent suicide and the art therapy interventions that can be used to help them with depression and other feelings and behaviors that increase the likelihood of suicide. My brain is now mush, but I wanted to do a little art and to at least post. More "verbage" tomorrow I hope when my brain gels back together and I can think again.

I hope everyone is still having fun with Art Every Day Month!

Blessings and Much Love,

Feeling A Little Rough: Day 20

2010-11-20T13:05:00.000-05:00

Revising A Blind Contour I Posted Last Year During AEDM.

I am feeling a little "rough around the edges this morning". I slept in a bit, but I am still not feeling quite right. I started drinking my morning java in hopes of feeling a little more up "to par"...but it has not really helped. My head feels foggy and I am still quite groggy. I started thinking about this self portrait that I did last year and I thought I wanted to reacquaint myself with it. It seemed to be calling to me. Do you ever have art pieces that speak to you? I try to be sensitive to that with my art therapy work and I have come to believe that sometimes when you create something it has one message for you at the time and it can later come up in your consciousness that it is wanting to tell you more about yourself...this is what is going on with this piece today. (I have included both images here, the original one that I posted last year is the first one shown and the second one is the adjustments that I did this morning while I had my conversation with the piece)

Upon opening the piece...I was struck by the fact that it really does capture how I am feeling today, but my hair is much longer now...so I probably look a bit different. If you take that away and just focus on the face and the haggard feelings that are represented there...it captures my morning very accurately. I feel drawn, tired, and like I just want to go back to bed, cuddle under the covers and watch movies all day. Those days have long gone by the wayside when I had lots of time on the weekends to just hang out with my daughter, who was young then and just have a "movie day". Sometimes I long for those days, but the committments of school have temporarily consummed most of my weekend times. Of course, my daughter is also not small and she is away on her own now going to college in Chicago. I am looking forward to her being here for the holiday season and maybe we can watch a couple of movies together like we used to. We have a holiday tradition of hot cocoa, cinnamon rolls, and watching a few favorites like Christmas Vacation and A Charlie Brown's Christmas among others.

I ask the drawing what else it wished to share with me other than making me painfully aware of the fact that I am tired...weary...and wanting to just be done with school. She stares back at me and boldly says "You have a resolve to complete what you started, you fear not finishing, you fear failure, yet you always resolve to move forward and reach the other side". I reply to her, "You are not telling me anything that I don't already know. Why was it so important for you speak to me today? Why did you tap, tap, tap into my conscious thoughts today?" She took a minute to just stare at me...I looked deep into the images eyes...they stared blatantly back at me, almost challenging me.

After several minutes of silence had passed, her voice took on a very serious tone as she spoke, "You are allowing your weariness to take over, and it will spoil your celebration that is soon come. Rest...replenish...and know that this hill is only as high as you allow it to become. Don't allow the berating voices you carry with you from your childhood to win. You have courage, resolve and resources that will carry you through until the end. Search within, and remember that you are following the path that has been laid before you by God's hand and this truth has been revealed in many ways over the years...trust him, lean into him...seek strength from him...and keep stepping forward."

Well, I guess she told me.

My day begins, as I see this image in my head and I try and tune into the "innerspirt" of God's plan for me and I will try and remember the many ways that this art therapy path has been laid out before me. I forget sometimes the "signs" of something bigger than myself when I don't see them tangibly visible before me every day. So my image came to remind me today. Funny how that works.

Do your images that you create ever talk to you? Have you ever tried to ask your artwork a question as simple as "Why were you created today" or "What do you want to share with me today"? Try it if you haven't...you might be surprised when the image speaks back to you. Let me know your experiences with this in the past, or if you try this after reading this post...I would love to hear about your experiences with this.

Blessings and Much Love,

D.

Lilies Gone Wild: Day 18

2010-11-18T21:43:00.000-05:00

Well, it is Day 18 and I am still playing with texture and abstract images. What fun it has been. I have really been surprised by some of the images that are happening while I am just playing around and letting my mind wander, trying this and that...not really having any sort of cognitive plan prior to just diving in and working very intuitively. I have noticed quite a few others this year are working on the "intuitive" level and having great results. One of them is the organizer of this great Art Every Day Month event, Leah Piken Kolidas. My thanks go out to her for continuing to host this event every year! I know that it must be hard work to get everything set up for signing up and signing in every day. She also manages to make it around to everyone at least a few times during the event to offer them kind words and encouragement since not everyone always feels what they are creating is worth posting. Myself included. Signing up is the easy part, then comes the "TERROR" that you are committing to create art and that you are going to maybe share that art with the world via the internet!

But you know what? I have come to know that the world will receive it as it was intended. I have come to believe that those who are intended to see, respond, and feel connected in some way with the art that is produced during this month WILL see it and it's purpose will be played out in their heart. This creative, sustaining energy will in turn come out in another creative creation of theirs whether that is art, music, dance, writing or just how they creatively respond to the world and to the relationships that they have in their lives.
I fear no more! Well...I can't guarantee that a little fear won't creep back in, but for now I am trusting in the process.

Do you work intuitively when you are creating art? I am curious about how you have experienced working intuitively and if you have been pleasantly surprised by the results. How does working intuitively contrast to when you work in a more planned or structured way?

Blessings and Much Love,
D.

Sometime In The Wee Hours: Day 17

2010-11-17T00:45:00.005-05:00

Crunch, Crunch, Crunch...the stress of the end of the semester has been upon me for the past week. I have skipped out of Art Every Day Month the last few days to focus on my huge case study review for my Clinical III class. It was an important "gateway" to the approval process for my internship to begin next fall. I did pass that, so the crunching paid off, but now I still have a few more assignments to get in by the end of the month. I took some time in the wee hours of the night/early morning today to play a little bit with this abstract piece just to clear my head after typing for several hours straight. I could not even think anymore, so I enjoyed some relaxing play time creating this and now I can refocus with a clear head. (Click on the image for a larger view)

I should be used to this time of year after being in grad school for close to 8 years now with this double major. It sure seemed like a good idea back when I started this art therapy masters degree 3 years ago. It is still a good idea, it has just been harder and LONGER than I originally envisioned it to be. I was originally told that I would only need 21 credits of a 45 credit Masters in Art Therapy because all of my psychology credits and both of my research courses would all transfer into this Master's program from my Master of Social Work degree. I naively thought...WOW...with 4 credits a semester that would be about two and a half years and I would be done. So I went for it. Well...working full-time, not all the classes being offered when I was able to take them and the art therapy credentialing board changing the requirements midstream for how many credits must be done within the actual art therapy program, put me a little behind the original plan. But, plans sometimes have to be flexible if you want to succeed I am learning. Slowly but surely, I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

The Holiday Is Around The Corner
. .. but it always takes me by surprise each year with how crazy it gets during this time. The semester before the holidays is always the worst, because just as everyone else it getting ready for relaxed time with family and friends, I am still usually functioning on little sleep and void of any social interactions other than work. Everyone is asking me, what are you doing for Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving I think...I can't think that far out...though it is really only next week. For me I am only able to focus on one day at time and doing what I can to get all my assignments in, then I come up for air and wonder..."Yes, what AM I doing for the holiday?" It is about that same time that I am also craving a few glasses of holiday cheer to celebrate another semesters end.

Save a bottle of "cheer" for me PLEASE I say to friends and family...or maybe two this year! A nice "oaky, robust" Merlot sounds good about now or a nice "buttery and oaky", Chardonnay. What's your holiday drink of choice? It doesn't have to be alcoholic, just yummy and festive. I also LOVE to try nice new flavors of hot cocoa and coffee this time of the year.

Blessings and much love,

Abstract Patchwork Collage: Day 11

2010-11-12T01:37:00.000-05:00

Day 11 Is Posted A Little Late...It's Really Day 12 EARLY.
What can you do? I did not even think that I WOULD post today, I worked on this art a bit on Day 10 and Day 11 of Art Every Day Month in between writing for my homework assignments. I found that breaking in this artistic way really helped to relax me and let me concentrate on the moment at hand and not get too caught up in the stress of the semester. This is about the closest you will ever see me get to making a quilt. I am not a seamstress and fabric and I do not "play friendly". This collage speaks to me of the many types of experiences we each have in our lives that transverse many layers, environments, and transparencies of emotion to create who each of us are within our own world view. Please click on the image for a larger and more detailed view of the piece.

Much love and blessings,
D.

Eerie Textural Landscape: Day 9

2010-11-09T21:12:00.000-05:00

More Play, Less To Say! Sorry no time for blogging...more homework this week is a crunch for the end of the semester. Another work in progress...I like starting these images...don't know if I will finish them this month or later. Going with the flow!

Hope everyone is having fun with this art month!

Blessings and much love,

Relaxing Digital Watercolor Playing For Me: Day 8

2010-11-08T22:12:00.001-05:00

I did not have a chance to do anything on Day 7 for my art contribution, but I have to remember that I don't have to do something every day...I can cut myself some slack.

Day 8 Fluid Play

For Day 8 of Art Every Day Month I am posting these fun textures that I created on Fluid Painter which is another online art creation program by the same guy that created the Flame Painter program that I created my initial texture from my post on Day 6. I did screen shots of these images to save them to my computer. Both of these programs offer me a place to just let my mind melt...in this case quite literally, as the colors flowed in together (kind of reminds me of a lava lamp-for those who had one or may still have one)...which is about all I can handle some days with my emotional drains from the work that I do during the day.

Some of you who are "quick on the uptake" might have noticed that I said that I am "posting" these fun textures I created...not really indicating that I actually DID them today. Truth be known, I actually created them the same day I did the Flame Painter backgrounds, but I don't have anything to show today, time has not worked in my favor...so I am cheating a bit. Do you hate me?

In my defense, I figure that it's okay since some days allow more time than others for creative play. I hope to incorporate these with some other textures much like I did with the ones that I played with from Flame Painter on my previous posts. I hope to get back at creating a bit after tonight which is a major homework push. Better stop trying to look more productive to my blog friends than I actually am, and brew some coffee. It is going to be a long, late night of art therapy homework. You will all cut me some slack won't you?

Do you ever worry about your artist "image" and how other people perceive your efforts or your art? Does that affect how you do your art and how you might market your efforts? I find these things interesting, but then again...psychology and sociology intrigue me, can you tell?

Blessings and much love,

Texture Playfulness Is The Name Of The Game: Day 5 and 6

2010-11-06T19:35:00.003-04:00

I am posting quick since I have to get focused on homework this evening. A big art therapy case review is underway for our Clinical III course, so the rest of the weekend is focused on that.

Day 5 Texture Play
This day found me just quickly playing with some texture strokes on the computer on one of my new found online sources Flame Painter since I did not have a lot of time. This was a quick half hour, and I got the image above happening. It kind of reminded me of fireworks and got me thinking of summer days...not the fall days that we are experiencing now, which are cold and grey. I did a screen shot of this...low res...but okay for using as a background texture, given that I plan on "gritting" it up a bit anyway so I am hoping the resolution will still do okay with all the texture overlays. I won't really know until I print something out...everything looks good on the 72 dpi screen resolution.

In the Morning of Day 6
I found myself playing a bit with some other textures and filters over coffee before starting on homework and heading out to the gym. I created both images by adding the texture photo to the right and then playing with various filters, layer blending modes and opacity's, and layer masks in Photoshop. Again, just works in progress to move forward on maybe as the month unfolds. You can click on any image to see it larger for more details.

The bottom image definitely needs some things brought out of the added "crackled" texture but I am playing and I really like the effect, but I need to enhance some of the circles and bring them forward a bit so the texture isn't taking over so much...but it is a beginning.

Now on to art therapy...treatment planning: goals, interventions etc. for my homework. Later this weekend I hope to check out what some others are doing on Art Every Day Month.

Suggestions or comments would be welcomed!

Blessings and Love,

D.

Day 4: Texture Must Be On My Mind

2010-11-05T00:31:00.000-04:00

I'm still "playing", and it is feeling good. Just moving some textures and some scribbles around and playing with filters and miscellaneous effects in Photoshop. It is so refreshing to not have to have a plan of attack going into this. I usually do digital art with a little more intent (probably due to my 25 plus years as a graphic designer), but this is evolving organically, more like my abstract watercolors.

I am finding out that I can just pull some things in, change hues, add textures and stretch and manipulate things any way I want and if the results seem to be going in a way that moves me... so what. No client to make a presentation to at the end of the day, though I am posting.

So please don't be a critical "client" (constructive criticism is always welcome though), or worse...tell me to take certain pieces and parts from one or two other digital pieces and add them to this one. This is a work in progress, but I am really liking working with these textures the last few days. They feel gritty and inviting to me at the same time. I am drawn to them for some reason.

Do you use a lot of textures in your work? How do you achieve them? I want try some other kinds of textures so I am curious.

By the way, everyone is doing awesome job with Art Every Day Month!

Blessings and Love,

Day 3: Creativity In A Can...Two to Be Exact

2010-11-04T01:51:00.000-04:00

It's been a long, tiring week. My brain is fried due to the emotional drain from patients and families and little to no sleep created by doing homework for my Clinical III. About the only creativity I could muster was today was combining these two cans from my cubboard for a "creative"evening dinner. This artist is living on the edge today, as always!

Do you ever try and "switch up" from two or more existing items to create a unique solution? What types of premium "solutions " have you created and how did that work out?

Blessings and love,
D.

Day 2: A Playful Immersion Into Texture Bliss

2010-11-03T00:31:00.001-04:00

This "playing" is really fun! I chose to take one of my snowflakes from yesterday and do a little exploring with various filters and additional layers of various textures in Photoshop.

I allocated just over an hour to these babies...since that was the time I had and I am just going with it. There are some fun things happening here, don't know where they will go.

These might be backgrounds for some more elaborate digital art or some might stand alone...hmmmm...we shall see where the energy of creative play leads! Not a verbally saturated blog post, but I am letting the images speak for themselves...AND of course anyone that wants to comment can also add a voice to this blog.

What are your thoughts on these? Do they create any feelings or emotions within you when you look at them? I am curious?

Feedback if you please!

Blessings and much love,

AEDM 2010...Day One

2010-11-01T23:00:00.006-04:00

Well... I have jumped into this Create Art Every Day Month again this year. If you remember, at least for those that were reading my blog last year, that was year one for me. This is year two. Yes, I had that much fun! Leah Piken Kolidas at Blue Tree Art Gallery does a great job of rounding up a bunch of "crazy artist" types, like me, to participate in a month long ritual of creating art every day each November. She has been doing this for 8 years now she reveals on her website. Great idea Leah!

I was super scared of the deadline of having to create art every day, take photos and/or uploading it to my blog and then actually blogging about the art and the experience. I stressed myself out last year thinking that I had to compete with all those other great artists out there that were also challenging themselves this month. I clicked on their posts and saw all the great art that others were posting and blogging about and I felt inadequate, or at the very least, incapable of keeping up with all the time consuming tasks of posting and blogging everyday even if I WAS able to get some art in. Last year I was unemployed during this event and I STILL had problems with time. NOW, I have been successfully employed as a full-time Hospice social worker...and I am STILL in school...this leads to even less time this year. You might be affirming to yourself at this moment, that yes...she IS a "crazy artist type"!

My Strategy This Year

I am being a little less anal this year (can I say that on my blog? Well, it is my blog...and I guess I could say worse things right?). I am just going to do a bit of creative work each day, maybe it will be 15 minutes on a painting every day for a week, or maybe it will be a doodle, or maybe it will be a creative thought I had about something I could do in the future etc. I am not going to have a preconceived plan and an agenda of deadlines looming before me. I have too many of those already in my life with work and grad school. This is supposed to be fun, so here I go. I might post each day, I might post every few days, or if I feel like it, I might only post at the end of the week. Like I said, I am going with the flow as it hits me. Much more laid back this year...at least that is the plan. We will see where it gets me.

Day One Doodles

I found this website that allows you to make really cool snowflake designs and I played around in the early hours of the morning...actually for me it was a continuation of the night before when I was still up doing homework until 1:00 p.m., but then decided I needed to play and loosen up a little bit before undertaking this challenge. I wanted to set the theme of "play" for myself. I had a good time and I got some cool designs with it. Don't worry, I am not wishing that winter will arrive by exploring snowflake creation, I just was having some fun and relaxing. That is the plan for this month's creativity.

I would love to hear about your experiences with this, drop in and leave a comment and say hello. Even a vote of confidence and support would be nice. Do you ever take time to just play? Do you doodle or does all of your artwork have to be something "serious" and "well executed"? Do you have a hard time loosing up when you work? I do, and that is why I am going this route this month.

I will try and say hello to the other AEDM participants at some point during this "crazy artist" month and see what other "crazies" are out there!

Blessings and love,

Oh my Gosh! Has it been 6 Months!

2010-10-18T23:07:00.000-04:00

Here's a toast to learning to accept ourselves for who we are! I sure have not kept up the promise that I made to myself to keep doing this blog once I started it back up again. I thought maybe it had been a few months, TOPS...but not SIX. Where does all the time go? Well, I can tell you, after that wild thesis writing nightmare and pressing the send button on my thesis proposal as my last few blogs reference, I DID get my life back at least for the summer...and it was GLORIOUS!

I played and relaxed all summer and it was heaven. I made wonderful day long excursions to the beach with my dog and a few lovely snacks, drinks and books to while away my time without worrying about homework or the demands of anything. I had the whole days of those beautiful weekends to just do nothing but enjoy life. It was so freeing to have that bliss after almost seven years of graduate school. I enjoyed myself so much that part of me did not even want to go back to my classes in the fall, but here I am back at it.

Now the crispness of fall is beginning to set in, I am behind on homework and frustrated with how it is going this semester, and longing again for the freedom that I had this last summer. I look back longingly and realize that I was healthier (more time for the gym), more rested (no late night homework sessions), less grumpy (also do to late night homework sessions), and just overall I felt more centered and in tune with my life (due to not dealing with all the deadlines and general hoops that going through grad school requires). It is times like these that I try and reflect back on my opening sentence. Learning to say a toast to learning to accept myself fully.

Yes, I am a grumpy, disgruntled, frustrated and sleepy student right now in my second master's degree program, but I have to remind myself what it is all for. Sometimes that is a daily reminder, sometimes it is hourly and even some days...I have to get out the stopwatch to accurately watch the "seconds". I tell myself "someday I will be an art therapist" and smile. I think of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and silently sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow..." and hope that the Wicked Witch of the West does not get the best of me before this adventure is over!

Blessings and Love,
D.

Final Day...Tomorrow I Have a Life Back

2010-04-25T14:07:00.000-04:00

I suppose that saying "Tomorrow I'll have my life back" might be a little extreme. I know that that this thesis proposal, and later, the second class where I actually do the research and put all the data into the thesis is a part of my life. I am just not enjoying this particular part of my life. It is one of the many academic "hoops" that I am required to jump through on the way to the Master of Arts in Art Therapy degree that I am completing. Somehow, I still don't get how writing a research thesis is really proving to anyone that I am going to make a good or a better art therapist than if I did not complete one. Having already completed an undergraduate degree in fine art, lots of hoops there...though most of those were conceptual and learning how to talk the "art language" as I call it, and then completing a Master of Social Work degree, I know all about the "hoops" that are set up and the "games" that must be played to get to the end of the academic degree that is being sought. Someone else sets up the criteria that is deemed worthy of allowing you to enter into the professional circle that they "covet". This is my second career, the first being a graphic artist/art director for over 25 years, and now a social worker and soon to be art therapist. Each professional "circle" has it's criteria, it's "initiation process" as I like to think of it. It's like making the new person pay their dues. I realize it is in the name of academic excellence and learning the craft/profession...but sometimes I think the "hoops" are there just to see if you can really cut it. After all, it takes some stamina and some real passion about what you want to do to stick with any degree to the end. Whatever the particular passion for that is, you have to have it.

Persistence and Passion
If it wasn't for my belief that God has given me this gift of art, and that I am supposed to use in it in the second half of my life as a way of helping others to heal, I don't think that I would have been able to survive this second Master's Degree. I have been shown time and time again that I continue to be on the path that God has laid out for me. When I am almost ready to give up, or I think I just cannot keep up the stamina to complete all the work required, God steps in and shows me that I can. Doors have opened to amazing internships, jobs and connections with people that have proven to me time and time again, that this is the path that I am supposed to be on...hard or not. So I trudge forward. I pray each day as I sit down to write this thesis proposal. I light three candles and say a special prayer as I light each one and ask God to step into my soul and speak through me and give me strength and clarity to go through yet another "hoop" in the academic circus to get to the the other side, and to ultimately become an art therapist. Each time that I think I am going to give up, and I pray to God about what I am supposed to do...my answer is always that I have been given this gift for more than just making pretty pictures...and a door opens, my strength returns, the words flow. So once again, today I will light the candles, say the prayers, and hope that God continues to lead me as I write the final version of this thesis proposal.

Pressing the "Send" Button
I have a bottle of special Toasted Head Chardonnay ready for a special glass of wine to celebrate the end of a long research and writing process. I know that I will make it to the end, one way or another, with God's support. I want to celebrate and savor each success along the long road to the end—SO when this proposal is sent in, via email, I intend to drink my wine, and swirl the lovely, buttery, oaky flavor in my mouth and swallow it slowly as I say "thank you" in a silent prayer.

What things are your striving toward in your life that you feel the "hand of God" upon? Are there times that you wonder if you are strong enough to make it to the goal? Do you pray? Do you ever have doors open or special messages come you way that help you to see that you are still on the right path and have not taken a wrong turn? Please share your own experiences, I would love to hear how God works in other people's lives.

I'd better light my candles and start typing, I have a long day ahead of me, but I know God will help me.

Blessings and Love,
D.

photo credit: stock.xchnge.com

Day Two...

2010-04-24T21:52:00.000-04:00

I am taking a break from typing all these revisions to this thesis proposal to write an update. My dog is really wondering what is going on and when he is going to get his friendly, happy, and "ball throwing", fun "mommy" back. His eyes are very telling of the social reclusive person that I have had to become to the last three months. I was really worried that I would not make it through this thesis proposal process, and I had to cut back on all social excursions except work, the gym, and homework...only one of which is even remotely social. At work I do have to talk to patients as part of my job, so that is some social contact anyway.

What a process this has been. I have often felt like the old saying "an elephant being pulled through the eye of a needle—backwards"...and I have felt all of the the stretches, pulls and "jamming" to make that kind of event happen. What a picture, don't you think? But, very accurate in it's metaphoric imagery for me and how I felt about this whole thesis research process. I have really come to believe that right brained, artist types really have a hard time thinking in that left brain analytical mode for extended periods of time without any creative "right-brained" activity to break it up. I actually am one of those "few" artsy types that have been blessed with what I would consider an equally weighted ability to function on either side of the brain and within both the analytical/logical thought processes and the creative/emotional processes. BUT...to function for months on end in just the "analytical", even someone like me who has the ability to manage both perspectives can find themselves flooded with what I can only refer to as "BRAIN MELTDOWN". I am looking forward to some very creative, free-flowing, unstructured, radically rebellious time off after I press the send button on my computer tomorrow for my midnight deadline.

I will let everyone know how it pans out. Does anyone want to help me select a flavor of wine or a good vineyard to try for a celebratory drink? Your comments and suggestions are welcome...maybe we could even have a virtual glass of wine together to celebrate having my life back...even if it is only until the next semester!

Blessings and Love,
D.

The Official Countdown Begins...

2010-04-22T20:54:00.002-04:00

Day Four of the Countdown Back to a Life

I have taken several months off from blogging...not the most recommended choice for a blogger's success, but for my personal sanity and personal success I needed to do so. I have been working on my Thesis Proposal for my Masters in Art Therapy program and it was all that I could do to manage that tremendous amount of work with just school, work and staying up with my gym routine. I cut out all other social life events for months...and even blogging—though I love it, was not part of the mix.

I have started an official Countdown to having a life back, as I am calling it. My whole, revised, and completed Thesis Proposal is due on Sunday, April 25th by midnight! Yes, that is THIS coming Sunday! Yeh! So...I am letting everyone know that I am itching to get back to blogging, doing some art and especially creating my Mandalas. I also can't WAIT to do some reflections on here and see what other peoples thoughts and feelings are about what I write about.

More to come...I hope you who had initially followed me will come back.

Blessings and Love,
D.

Photo credits: stockxchng

The Churning Mechanics Of Life

2010-01-10T22:25:00.002-05:00

I am amazed that it has been so long since I did my last Mandala, which also appears to have coincided with my last blog entry. Time has been whirling by very quickly for me lately. The last few weeks of December and the first week of the new year are always busy, but this year I had an additional element to juggle. I started a new job as a social worker with Hospice. I am still juggling these new duties, and learning the ins and outs of the job, and it is going into the second week of this new year. I know that I will soon get a handle on things and life will balance back out, that is one of the advantages of age...I have had enough upsets and imbalances in my life due to short-term changes to know that there is another more "sane" side to come. In the meantime, as I reflected upon this new year, I definitely found myself thinking of the abundant gratitude that I feel for my ability to have found employment and to have been be gifted with such a wonderful opportunity to work with families and their loved ones during a very significant and intimate time in their lives. I feel extremely honored that my journey has taken me to this place at this time.

Feeling The Need To Create
As I sat in a lonely hotel outside of Detroit (where I was for 2 days and 2 nights for new employee orientation), this past Thursday night, I felt a very strong need to create and to center myself. I needed something to take me away from all the new material, forms, phone lists, phone training, new faces and names and the whirlwind of information overload that new jobs can create in our heads. I am glad that I had decided to throw my Mandala supplies in my suitcase at the last minute, just in case I had some down time. I drew my outside circle and slowly began...never having a preconceived notion of the outcome or even the colors that I would choose. It always works. It always comes. Ah, resting in the relaxation of those moments. My head could finally stop the cascading waterfall of names, dates, times, rules, regulations, do's and don'ts, that make up an intense orientation schedule. I was amazed to note when I had finished my Mandala that an hour and a half had flown by while I found solitude once again within my design and the colors that flowed onto my paper.

A Cog In The Wheel Of Life
As I always do when I have finished a Mandala for my Circles Of Time Mandala Series...I looked intently at what I had just created and waited to see if any free association words came to me from within. I wrote these words around this new piece for my series "The Mechanisms of LIFE tick and turn and CRANK...winding and CHURNING, up we go, and down the other side." Hmm...how fitting.
I guess I have been feeling like I am a cog or a gear in life's big engine the last few weeks, turning, moving, going through the motions that I needed to take to do what I had to do, but I have realized that I am tired. BUT, I am also rejuvenated each time I allow myself to explore art as a way of processing my life's changes. I also workout regularly, eat as healthy as I can, and try to get enough sleeping time (though it has been difficult these last few weeks). All of these coping skills will help me get to the other side, a side when I will feel balanced again and hopefully, proficient at my new job.

Blessings and Love,
D.

Reveling In The Treasures Of Simplicity

2009-12-14T15:16:00.005-05:00

I was having some trouble sleeping last night, I have that sometimes...maybe that is just the fun process of getting older. After laying in bed for hours without being able to get to sleep, I went to the internet for some possible solutions to my dilemma and found 10 Ways To Cure Insomnia. I started using this list to evaluate if I had done my part in preparing myself for adequate and healthy sleep patterns. I have found that as I have gotten older, along with a number of other significant changes, I have noticed that it is even more important that I get an adequate amount of sleep. No longer can I run on 5 hours or less of sleep and still be at my best (I suppose even when I was younger I was not ALWAYS in top form with little sleep...but maybe now it matters more to me how I feel, and how I react to the world?).

Checking The List
As I went through the list I realized that I was doing pretty good on 1-4, and 7. In addition, 8-9 did not apply since I am single, and #10 was a little hard to maintain since I have been working full-time while being a graduate student in what is now my second master degree. So I blew 10, was that my problem? Hard to say. As far as #5 and #6 went, I found these to be the most helpful. Even though I often read before falling asleep (usually a textbook is a great resource for that), most nights I do pray, and I listen to relaxing music sometimes also. This list seemed to be great for attempting to GET to sleep, but it seemed to not provide me with what to do when I already could NOT sleep. As I reread #5 and #6, I realized that I had to stop fighting the fact that I could not sleep which was causing me to get frustrated and anxious.

Mandala To The Rescue
Once I let myself off the hook by realizing that most of the things on the 10 Ways To Cure Insomnia list I was pretty good about, I decided to take the pray, meditate, and paper suggestions of #5 and #6 to heart and I decided to start another Mandala for my Circles Of Time Mandala Series at 2:00 a.m. Well, ironically when I was done I felt peaceful, relaxed and I was ready for sleep even though it was 3:00 a.m. I have learned that being creative does not always come at the most convenient times, but I have found if I can just let it flow as it does come, it can provide the right comfort at the "right time".

Words To Live By
The free association words that I wrote along the outside of this Mandala proved to be very insightful to me. They read "The power of HUMILITY reins...RELINQUISH control and seek and you will find. Revel in the treasures of SIMPLICITY—SEEK NOT—What is not for you to find...knowingly surrender". Wow! These words really spoke to me. I wondered to myself how much of my inability to fall asleep was around trying to plan, control and otherwise foretell or imagine what my future career, school and life in general, held for me. I often find that I spend way too much time in thoughts about the future and a good amount of time dwelling in my mind about the past. I am consciously trying to remain in the present and to experience life as it unfolds with God's plan. It's hard when you are guilty of being a "Control Freak" about some things. I am definitely getting some messages about learning to relinquish that control and learning to live more simply and to question less the things that I don't really need to be concerned with. Faith...it paves the way if we listen.

We Are All In This Together
Do you suffer from difficulties getting to sleep or waking up at odd times in the night? What do you do to help yourself get to sleep or get back to sleep? Do you ever try anything creative such as creating art, playing the guitar, writing in your journal, creating poems or songs? Have these types of right brain activities helped you to quiet your left brain "analytical" processing that might be keeping you up and making you anxious or frustrated? I would love to hear your thoughts about my Mandala message, and any of your own personal stories about sleep or your lack of it. I would welcome your comments and I may even find some other ideas of how I might relax in the night for the future.

Blessings and Love,
D.

Bouncing With The Glow Of The Holiday

2009-12-02T01:32:00.007-05:00

Once again, I am posting from the Art Every Day Month Challenge, this was my art activity for Day #27, which was the day after Thanksgiving. I have only three more posts and I will have it all up for everyone to see. I am slowly trudging along, slow but steady as they say. I would rather trudge ahead slowly, than not move at all...so here I go!

This year I was lucky to be invited to one of the best Thanksgiving celebrations that I have ever attended. After many consecutive years of spending this holiday with my family (I am a prime target each year for ALL holidays now that I have officially been single for close to four years), I chose to do something different this year. During the years that I was in a relationship, the holidays were negotiable as to what ones were spent at what parents house. I know this may sound bad, but I liked the variety that this arrangement provided. Since I have been single, it is just assumed that I will have "nowhere" to go, I will just be alone and depressed, sitting at home eating Kraft macaroni and cheese and drinking myself into a stupor. Maybe that is over exaggerating, but I sometimes wonder. This year I chose to add some spice back into the event when I accepted an invitation from a couple of very good friends of mine to spend the holiday with them and their very large family of four daughters, their husbands, their grandchildren, a brother and his wife, and an elderly uncle from out-of-town. This was a lot of people, but it was "glorious"! So different from my small family.

A Bouncing Ball Of Energy
After such a wonderfully exciting and fun holiday, I was exuberant the following day! I got up, shot off to the gym, treated myself to a hazelnut latte, and came home to create my Art Every Day piece, Day #27. Once again, I chose to play with the spontaneity of the moment. I took out a big pad of 18x24 inch paper, pulled out some big bottles of tempera paints (you know, the ones that we got to use as kids in school or art class) and squirted out some big blobs of each color on some paper plates and went to work. What I ended up with kind of reminded me of a big ball of energy, so I called it "Energy Ball". So original you are probably thinking. Yes, that's why us artists get paid the big bucks! (Refrain your laughter to a minimum please).

Glowing Emotions
Anyway, I thought it really captured my emotion for that day in visual form. I had lots of fun with it at least. Have you ever tried to just paint the emotion you are feeling at a particular moment of your life? Or have you asked yourself what certain emotions might look like if you had to represent them in painted form or some other art medium of your choice? This exploration can become a finished art piece, or it can just be a nice way to begin a painting session since it allows some connection to begin with that place in your heart and soul where our true art originates. Once the connection is ignited, or the wick is lit, it will continue to burn into whatever you choose to do next. Try it and let me know how it goes for you by posting a comment or a link if you would like.

Blessings and Love,
D.

Swimming Upstream

2009-11-30T13:06:00.002-05:00

I am still trying to catch up on my blog entries from this past week, the holiday time and my daughter coming home from college has set me back a bit. Today is actually the last day of Art Every Day Month Challenge, but I am still posting art that I have created in the days prior to today. What can you do? Eventually I will be caught up. I am practicing cutting myself some slack and just doing what I can do and trusting that it will be okay. I don't have to measure of to anyone else's progress chart but my own.

Playing With Ink and String
As I mentioned in my last post, I used the couple days prior to the Thanksgiving holiday to do some loose, fun artwork that would keep my stress level down and provide some relaxation into my life. I created this piece for AEDM Day#25. As you may remember, I was picking my daughter up from college in Chicago on the 24th, so that day was very long and the following day, I was pretty tired. I began this piece by using a technique that I learned from an art therapy mentor of mine that involves dipping cotton string into India ink and creating various abstract shapes and spatters onto the paper. By dragging, dropping, spinning and laying the ink drenched string onto my paper I created some very abstract black shapes without any preconceived notion of what the creation might become. This aspect is very much like the Scribble Drawing "Flowering Lady" post, they both allow the artist to work very intuitively, which is just lovely for relaxing and letting go of your "inner critics" inhibitions.

Gazing Into The Water
Once the India ink was completely dry, I tried to find a picture that wanted to emerge from the abstract shapes. I began to see a striped fish first and I started to add some pastel colors to it. As I worked, I found a seahorse and another little pink fish come out to greet me. I finished the piece by adding some green seaweed and some nice blue swirls in the water that surrounded my sea creatures. In the end, I felt really pleased with my creation. I was kind of surprised that I was lively enough to actually create anything after all the driving the day before. If you look closely, all three of the sea creatures do have pretty droopy, sleepy eyes...especially the little pink one at the bottom. Hmm...something always carries into our work from our personal experiences. I have gotten caught back up on my sleep now.

More Art Every Day Month pieces to come!

Blessings and Love,
D.

Freeing The Flowering Woman From The Scribble

2009-11-28T22:46:00.002-05:00

With the Thanksgiving holiday coming up around the corner, I chose to use the days prior to the big day as a way to just have some fun and relax with my art. I created this fun scribble drawing for my Art Every Day Month Challenge Day #23. I was going to be leaving the following morning of the 24th to pick up my daughter for her college holiday break from DePaul University, in Chicago, and I knew that day would be a long and tiring one. The drive was about 3.5 hours one way and then we had to pack up her luggage for a five week holiday stay, and then we drove the 3.5 hours back to Grand Rapids, MI. It's not really too bad of a drive, I used to live in Chicago for 10 years and I don't mind traveling there, but it makes for a long day to go there and back. I planned that I would not be able to create art for Day #24 due to this traveling day.

Squiggling To Music
I chose to use my body a bit when I created the blue scribble that this picture was formed from. I have found with my clients and workshop participants that doing body movements prior to creating art pieces will often open up a nice creative flow for them and it worked for me this day too. I danced and frolicked around, probably looking a little silly that morning if anyone other than my dog and cat had been around, but they are used to my crazy antics so they just slept with one eye open just to make sure nothing got out of hand. I cranked the old iPod up to some favorite tune and went to work. I also like to close my eyes when I do the scribble so that I am not inclined to force an image or to prejudge what is going on with the strokes.

Color Choices Are Interesting To Contemplate
I also like to pay attention to the color that I choose to make my initial scribble with. I tell those that I do this technique with that they need to sit with the colors that are available and see what color calls out to them to be used that day. I usually get some odd looks from some of them, especially if they are not used to being so intuitive with their art materials. But they usually humor me in the end.

Blue was my color choice of the day. I usually have a sheet of various color meanings that my clients/workshop participants can look at when they are trying to see if the color they chose for their scribble has any inner meaning for them. Since color is very subjective, much like the art itself, I like to have a list of some of the more common associations that people have had with each color and then I tell the artist to read through the list and if something jumps out and "resonates" with them they might want to pay attention to that or they may just want to jot down their own thoughts that they might associate with their color choice. I treat this also as a very intuitive process. I usually reserve this color reflection until the rest of the drawing is completed, so I just tell them in the beginning to respond to the color that calls to them and then to create their scribble.

Some of the meanings of blue that resonated with me on this day were loyalty, security and rebirth. It was kind of interesting later when I reflected on this color choice, that I had chosen to add a flower to the hand of this woman. Rebirth and flowering into something new?

The Final Drawing Emerges
As I squinted at the scribble and looked for a hidden image, much like the watercolor technique I did a few posts back, I saw this woman quickly emerge and she instantly grabbed my attention. I loved her style and something about her attitude was very appealing and strong for me to draw that day. In the end I added the blue lines to the scribble to form a flower for her to hold. Maybe it was the size of her nose that suggested that additional element for me? I'm not sure, but either way, when I was done with the drawing and I reflected on it's presence, I felt that she was a strong messenger for me. She had a very distinct style about her and she was not afraid to show it, it was what made her unique and she seemed to love her life. Hmm...I thought to myself, maybe I need to let more of my style out and embrace my unique qualities and gifts. We all have something to bring to this world. We should not be afraid of who we really are.

Do you ever try and hide your uniqueness sometimes behind the ways that society tells you that you should act, look, behave, etc. Try and let the "inner you" shine more openly, and see if you feel brighter and lighter because of it. We can all benefit from the unique nuances of each and every person in this world of diversity that we live in.

Blessings,
D.

Catching Up After The Holiday

2009-11-28T13:33:00.002-05:00

I have gotten pretty behind on my Art Every Day Month Challenge with Thanksgiving falling during this month. I am going to be spending the rest of the weekend catching up on my blog and showing the various AEDM things that I have been working on. I apologize for the fact that I am not going to be posting all of my creative undertakings in chronological order. I am choosing to post the Mandala that I did today for my Circles Of Time Mandala Series (Day #28 of Art Every Day Month), and then I am going to go back and blog post some of the other art pieces that I have been working on for the last few days.

Relaxing Into The Creative Flow
This morning was a good morning to just relax with my coffee, some nice Joe Henderson: The State of the Tenor saxophone music playing, and taking advantage of the sun shining into my dining room (a rare event the last few weeks, since it has been dark, overcast, and sometimes raining the last few weeks here). It was a nice morning time to recuperate from the last few days. I just allowed myself to enjoy creating the flowing lines and the nice little design elements that began to form on this piece as it went along. In the end I wrote the following free association words around the Mandala. [ • Rain • Robins • Respite & Relaxation • Random • Relinquish • Rejuvenate • Replenish • Recharge • Responding • Rebirth • Respite • ]

The words seem fitting after a long, and eventful Thanksgiving Holiday. I had a great time with friends and I enjoyed a wonderfully decadent dinner, but I was very tired on Friday and I am just now starting to feel like I am coming back to life. I guess my Mandala message today was to spend time "rejuvenating my soul and my body", much like spring rain and robins rejuvenate the winter landscape...I will have to remember to treat myself well today.

Treat yourself to something that will rejuvenate you after your own holiday time. Take a bubble bath, get a massage or find someone who is willing to give you one for free, take a swim at your health club if you are a member, go to a museum/art gallery, take in a movie, or just treat yourself to a nap in the middle of the day. We owe it to ourselves to pamper our soul and body after a stressful, tiring, or just an eventful holiday with friends and family. You owe it to yourself...INDULGE! Feel free to share how you chose to spend this indulgence time with yourself, I would love to hear of what other things you are doing that I might like to treat myself to during the next holiday!

Holiday Fun in Douglas, Michigan

2009-11-23T00:13:00.006-05:00

I decided yesterday that my Art Every Day Month Challenge for Day #21 was going to be "feeding my soul" so that I would have some things tucked away in there for future creativity. I was fortunate that several of my friends suggested that the five of us take a run over to Douglas, which is a small town by Saugatuck, MI (where my favorite beach on Lake Michigan is located, if anyone is interested). The trip is only about 35 minutes from my house in Grand Rapids, MI so it is a quick getaway...and during the holidays, the little shops and galleries are really decorated quite nicely as you can see from the photos...with the exception of the "creepy window dressing man" as we called him, that you will find below. I had to take a photo of him AND the three clown heads art piece that was in a gallery that we went in. There was certainly "something for every taste and interest".

I had a wonderful time laughing with good friends and we had a fantastic dinner at The Wild Dog Grille shown above with the wreaths lining the windows. The name of the restaurant is not any indication of the elegant menu that it holds and all of the luscious wines that they offer to their patrons. My dinner was Butternut Squash Ravioli in a Marsales Sauce with walnuts and onion complimented by a lovely glass of Malbec wine. I was in heaven. Let the holidays begin.

I even had one of the fun shop keepers, who was really decked out for the season, offer to have his picture taken with me since we had been admiring his little elf hat with the bell. I'll let you figure out who is who. Overall, it was a fun filled night, full of laughter, good food, good wine, treats and champagne at the little shops and galleries, carolers and even a nice hazelnut cinnamon fat-free latte for me. Decadence at it's best.

Blessings,
D.

Decay From The Inside Out

2009-11-20T23:04:00.004-05:00

On Day #20 of the Art Every Day Challenge I found myself thinking a lot about about my friends and/or their friends and loved ones that have been either recently diagnosed with a serious, life threatening illness or who are suffering from chronic illnesses that they have been dealing with for a very long time. I found myself thinking about the cells in our bodies and how they are both very strong and very vulnerable at the same time. They are susceptible to so many things, nutrition, environmental threats, chemicals, stress, lack of exercise, limited hydration, the list goes on and on. It seems what frustrates me most are all the things that are not easily within our own control to change such as environmental issues and toxins in our foods etc.

I get really angry sometimes when I think about all the people that I care about that have illnesses that they cannot control and sometimes they can even feel like the illness wants to control them, or worse, kill them. Sometimes it actually does kill them. This iphone painting is about those feelings that I was dealing with today.

This piece is called "Killing From Within" and it is my visual representation of all of the internal wiring (or various body systems) that go "haywire" in the body when it's cells start to break down and a disease spreads. The disease grows and spreads outward and things break apart from within. The dark splotches are like rotting, spots of decay that is spreading into the body but might not normally be seen from the outside. Sometimes disease is seen externally and sometimes it isn't.

My prayers to all those who who suffer from disease. May God watch over you.

Blessings and Love,
D.

Effort Can Still Fall Short Of The Vision

2009-11-20T00:24:00.009-05:00

I have finally gotten around to posting my Art Every Day Month Challenge piece for Day #18 and #19. Can you feel my obvious rebellion to posting? Even though I spent a lot of actual time on this piece, I feel like it still looks unfinished and amateurish to me. Ah, "give it up" and say, you tried something and "you have what you have". Life will go on. As you have probably gathered by now, I am not extremely pleased with the final result, though I like the second cropped version a little better (see the narrower image below). Do you ever have one of those times where the image you see is much more interesting than the way the piece turns out in the end? I have to look at it as an experiment. I figure this is God's way of telling me to remember to be humble. I tried a few new things, namely colored pencil on rough watercolor paper...I can't say I am a fan of the effect, or at least my own execution of the technique. I have done this hidden imagery watercolor work before to produce a few pieces, but at that time, I went back into the original abstract watercolor pieces with more watercolor lines to define areas and then added some other mixed media stuff and those pieces seemed to work better for me. I might play with this one in Photoshop and see if I can do something else with it...you never know.

A Process Of Exploring Imagination

The process that I followed to create this art did allow me to enjoy engaging the imaginary, playful side of my personality and that is always good. They say this type of imagination work is good for keeping Dementia at bay, so Kudos for me...I'm not getting any younger! Here is the process that I did, in case anyone wants to try it. It is a really fun process and it always provides new ideas and visual shapes to challenge your imagination, much like dragging or dripping India ink to make shapes on the page and then finding the hidden image.

Here we go: 1) Wet a sheet of watercolor paper (I use a watercolor block of cold pressed paper so that I don't have to stretch the paper before starting, but you can do the stretching if you want to). Cold press or rough watercolor paper is preferred over the hot press papers due the fact that they are both rougher, and they allow the pigment to settle into the crevices and create really cool shapes when you complete Step 3. 2) Once the paper is thoroughly wet; pour, drip, or spatter watercolor paints of any color combination onto the wet surface. 3) While the paper is still wet, take a sheet of plastic food wrap (or more than one if you are working on a very large sheet of watercolor paper) and lay it over the paint. Once you have it on the surface, take your fingers and "scrunch" it up is some areas or push areas together so that the plastic wrap has lots of wrinkles and crevices for the paint to flow into. 4) Set the watercolor sheet, with the plastic still attached to it aside to dry thoroughly. 5) Once it is completely dry, slowly peel back the plastic to reveal some lovely abstract images that you can work with (you can see a sample below of how the watercolor sheet that I drew into looked after the plastic was removed–this is a portion that I cut off, but you can get the basic effect). The shapes are always different.

Once you have your abstract shapes, squint a bit at them a bit or spin the paper in each direction and look patiently until you find some imagery that is waiting to come alive for you. This is a lot like finding shapes in the clouds when you were a kid. If you aren't inspired with found imagery, these shapes are still fun to embellish as abstract art or they can be used as a background for another art piece.

Have fun and let me know if any of you try this fun technique. I would love to see posts or any art you do with this if you are willing to share. This process is usually quite relaxing, that is, IF you do not get too frustrated and overwork the piece trying to get something to work...like I did.

Happy Painting,

What Does Playing Do For The Soul?

2009-11-17T17:27:00.002-05:00

I have been working over the past two days on my Art Every Day Month Challenge piece that is shown here. It is my offering for both Day #16 and #17. I drew in the big shapes with the colored markers on Day #16 and I managed to finish up the many details while I drank my coffee and sat in the sun that was streaming into my dining room this morning. It seemed deceivingly warm to me, but I was forced back into a midwestern Fall reality when I took my dog out and I realized that it was quite brisk and windy. Once I was back inside, I was pleased that I could feed two important needs at once, my creative "innerspirit" and my physical and emotional need for sunshine. More and more is being found out about the importance of adequate vitamin D in our bodies and the sun is a great source of that in a natural form. This time of year in Michigan it is a little too cold for me to enjoy being outside drawing for a couple of hours, so sitting inside at the table was a good way to still benefit from the warm sun.

A Planetary Mandala Drawing Emerges

I just allowed myself to play with the shapes and lines again today with this Mandala since it is also part of my Circles In Time Mandala series. I did try today to stretch the series a bit by doing a mixed media Mandala. After playing with the watercolor Mandala on Day #13, (see the previous post if you would like to see this image) I felt that I could take some artistic liberty and use whatever I wanted on this Mandala and it still would be part of the same series since it was the same size, I approached it the same way, and it was still being used for the prayer/meditation time that it was intended to create for me. I really became quite involved in the intricate line work in this piece and it ended up looking like something from outer space, maybe a really cool planet that is yet to be discovered with many circling moons or suns? I listened to several soothing, contemporary Christian music selections, while I created, and I thought a lot about how God manifests himself in my life. I began wondering why it is so hard to see God sometimes in my life, and other times it seems that he is so very close that I can actually almost touch him...I felt closer to my creative source when I was done, which I believe for me, is God.

Missing AEDM Days Creations?
Those of you that are following this blog might wonder, what happened to Day #14 and #15? Well, I have to admit, Day #14 did not consist of any art, but I was excited that I did manage to do a little artistic "playing" in the way of incorporating music into my Day #15. I have not played my guitar much over the last year, it seems this goes in cycles for me. Sometimes I play a lot, and other times I move away from it and into other things. I enjoyed playing and singing a few songs, but I soon regretted having let it go so long when my un-calloused finger tips started hurting after only a few short songs...this should be reason enough to not let this pleasure go so far between music sessions. Singing and strumming the old familiar songs was a soothing and relaxing way to feed my creative and artistic soul. I find that music in all forms can really move quickly into my heart and it makes me feel alive.

What types of things do you do to feed your artistic soul? Do you take the time to "eat" regularly from this "soul food"? It is easy for us to push time for ourselves down to the bottom of our "To Do" list, even society would tell you that art and artistic endeavors are "frivolous", especially if they do not make money. Don't buy into it, our soul needs the time and the honor of being "fed" and "cultivated", and in return, it will feed and cultivate us in many abundant ways.

Blessings and Love,
D.

Swirling Colors and Lines Free Me

2009-11-16T14:20:00.007-05:00

I am a little behind on postings for my Art Every Day Month Challenge. I was out of town and without my laptop for a few days so I did not have the ability to post. I was in what I will call a "forced techno escape". I had my iphone with me, but I was only checking email infrequently and the idea of trying to post a whole blog entry by typing on that little keyboard seemed a little "crazy" to me unless I was a problogger and I was actually getting paid to get something up for those days that I was pretending to be "techno free". In addition, since I was doing traditional media artwork, I still had to photograph it, upload it, adjust it in Photoshop (which in this case still is not the most pleasing photos. but you get the idea anyway), and then get it into the actual blog entry. All of this is much easier when I have my laptop back and I am home. This way I get to sip my coffee, listen to some nice Diana Krall (a lovely, sultry, jazz singer—if you are not familiar with her work) while I am blogging.

Relaxing Into A Meditative State
The Mandala shown here (in various cropped views to highlight the details) was created for Day #13 of Art Every Day Month, but it is also part of my Circles In Time Mandala Series that I am working on. I have not used watercolor yet in the existing Mandalas that I have created for this series, even though a lot of my primary artwork is in watercolor. I originally started my Circles In Time series with colored Sharpie markers, in various sizes, with the idea that it would be a very portable art form and that it would force me to think less about each Mandala having to be a "finished" art piece, and it would also allow me to focus more on it's prayer/meditative properties as I worked. I often say a prayer before I start or during the creation process, other times, I may simply take several deep breathes while reciting a simple breath mantra before beginning the work to help "center" or "ground" myself prior to drawing my beginning circle. The Sharpie markers are fun to work with and they have freed me up to new possibilities, but on Day #13 I was moved to work with a more flowing media for this little Mandala for something different for my Art Every Day Month piece.

Allowing My Body To Feel The Flowing Peace
I initially followed the same process as I always do for this small Mandala (all Mandala's in this series start with the same size circle of 7.5"x7.5" in diameter) by saying a prayer before beginning. On this day my prayer was simply "Lord, allow me to move freely into this space and to be held softly in your creative source as I rest and I am replenished by you".

I dipped my brush into the sweet, wet watercolor and rolled it out onto my paper, concentrating on the tactile feel of the brush in my hand and the soothing flow of the colors as they flowed into each other and onto my paper. Oh, how glorious this process felt to me. I wanted to live forever in the swirling colors and puddles of spontaneous exuberance. If only we never had to return to the complications of life. At some point my small Mandala was filled with color and it seemed time to put the brushes down and allow the paint to dry. In reality, I do have to admit that I cheated a bit with the drying process since I was so excited to add some details to the piece. I am guilty of using the blowdryer to speed up the drying in some highly saturated areas. You won't tell anyone will you?

Pulling Out The Details
Once the piece was sufficiently dry to accept another media, I started playing with my colored pencils and I began to add details as they came freely from my creative source. I loved playing with the various lines and working with the soft texture of the pencils on the slightly rough paper. It was very relaxing and it allowed me to continue to rest my analytical mind (which is often raging far too fast for my own good). I did not really have any preconceived notion of what the details would suggest, but in the end, as I reflect upon the piece now, they seem to suggest a kind of organic quality. Parts of the piece appear to suggest to me a marine theme of some sort containing organisms such as starfish, jellyfish and various aquatic plant life.

What do you see when you look into the Mandala? We all have our own interpretation of what is created by other artist's abstract imagery. As I look deeper into the work, there also appears to be a lot of roots and new growth budding in this piece... is this about my own stretching and growing? Sometimes I think am being forced to stretch and grow too quickly in some ways and other times I feel frustrated that I am not growing and stretching enough in other areas of my life...do you ever feel the push and pull of "growth and stretching" in areas of your life? How can you cultivate those areas that you would like to grow? You may also need to consider taking a break in areas that you may feel are moving too fast for you and in which you are having a hard time catching up. This racing often causes internal stress. It's okay to slow down a bit, we need to give ourselves permission to be where we need to be. Only you know where that is at any given moment in your life.

(This Mandala can be viewed in it's whole circle form on my InnerSpirit facebook page in the Circles In Time Mandala Series).

Much Love and Blessings,
D.

A Self-Portrait Work-In-Progress

2009-11-13T15:52:00.001-05:00

As my days are progressing on the Art Every Day Month, I was drawn back on Day 11 to a blind contour drawing that I did about 8 months ago for an art response to an Graduate Art Therapy class that I was taking. I have been wanting to do some more work with it since I felt that it really had captured a distinctive mood and feeling of that moment in time. So...I pulled it out, scanned it, and I am have been playing a bit with adding some washes of color in Photoshop. It is still unfinished, and I hope to finish it up later this weekend. I will unfortunately be without my laptop for a few days since I am taking it in to the Apple Store for some warranty work...bummer! BUT, I am looking at the positive side, it will give me a break from the techno of my life (which is good), and I will go back to the old fashioned art mediums and probably work on the weekend on the Fire and Gecko Mandala that I started and featured in a few blog posts ago.

I have to run now and shut down the computer, but I wanted to get something up to show that I was working and to let everyone know where I am and what I am doing.

Blessings and more to come!

The Blessing of Fall's Timeless Serenity

2009-11-11T15:40:00.008-05:00

After being out-of-town for the weekend, I have finally gotten back into the swing of things around my home and with regards to my art offerings for Art Every Day Month. I have been wanting to do something with the fall images that I took last week (see my previous post if you are interested to see the original image that I started with for this art piece). I have been doing a lot with Mandalas the last few months for some reason. Before about 6 months ago, I had used Mandalas quite a bit with some of my clients and in many healing art workshops that I have run over the years, for their centering and calming effects, but I had not really done that many of them for myself. Then suddenly, they just seemed to start evolving into my some of my art. Around that time period, I started a series of them for prayer meditation (see my Circles In Time Mandala Series on my InnerSpirit facebook page) which I am still working on at this present time. After I create a Mandala in this series, I allow myself to be open to "free association" words that arise in my mind as I look into the Mandala. I have written those words around the outside of this series and some of them have provided me with personal insights along the way. I have found Mandalas to be very healing for me and relaxing, especially on days when I am know that I have a lot of emotions flowing around in my heart.

Changing Seasons Can Bring Deep Moods

The Mandala above is called "Fall Wood & Leaf Mandala_Purple", and it was inspired both by the images from my last post and the gorgeous sunset that happened last night behind my house. I saw the sunset through my sliding glass window that looks out to my deck, while I was working on my laptop—just trying to catch back up with my life and feeling very drained from my weekend away. I grabbed my iphone and went outside to capture it before it was gone. It was so beautiful that it made me think of new possibilities and new hope that some of the feelings that were whirling around in my heart and the heart of those that I loved, could be made lighter by the beauty of the season and this brief glimpse of the breath of God's Palette in my own backyard.

Digital Mandala Play
After taking that sunset photo, I started playing with the original fall image that I put in my previous post by placing it in a circle. I was not really sure that I was going to create a Mandala with it, but it just seemed a calming shape to start with and a way to contain some of the emotions that I was still dealing with. It helped to keep me focused on my art and away I went long into the night. I wanted to add some variety and a bit of an abstract quality to the image, so I created some arbitrary stripes and let the areas where the stripes overlapped the image do some fun things with the various filters that are available in Photoshop. I like how it turned out. I rotated the same stripes to create a horizontal set of a different color and somehow these also helped to "center" and ground the piece on the canvas. As I continued to work, I found that I also began to feel more centered and grounded. It is funny how that therapeutic effect happens, I guess that is why I am so passionate about art therapy. It works, and I know it's power from an intimate perspective. In the end the piece seemed to whisper to me the words..Timeless...Serenity...so I included them in the piece. I often find that if I listen closely my art it has a life of it's own, and it will speak to me!

I have included the first version that I did with the word "Timeless" in a green color, but I later did this version in purple and it seemed to resonate better with me. I have included the green version here for others to review. Which is your favorite and why? Do you get any particular feelings that are evoked when you look into either of these Mandalas? What are they? If you click on either image you can see a larger view of each one.

The Colors and Textures of Fall

2009-11-06T12:32:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was day #5 of Art Every Day Month and Leah suggested that I might want to use nature as a starting point for some artwork. Ideally, she suggested taking the opportunity to take a long leisurely stroll in the woods, but that was not an option for me yesterday. Not only are there no woods in close proximity to me, but in addition...it was cold, and I am a wimp when it comes to being cold. Outside looses it's luster for me around November in the Midwest. So, since I do have to go outside fairly frequently to let me cute little dog, Cocoa, out to relieve himself, I took my iphone with me and snapped a few shots of some things that caught my interest.

It Does Not Take Long For Art To Be Found

I did find some inspiration, even in just this small time that I allowed myself to focus on nature. I love the texture in these wood pieces, that were found in my yard. I get a lot of branches from several big oak trees that I have in my backyard that loose their limbs during the wonderful storm winds we have that go through here. The colored leaves brought back memories from my childhood of raking big piles of colorful leaves and jumping into them and saying "whoosh!" I wish I could cultivate that appreciation for the fun of leaves again, now...I only see piles that have to be mulched, and bagged for the season. Ah, the carefree times of our youth. I am going to be turning these little inspirations into some art in a few days. I will be taking a break from EADM today since I have an important interview that has to trump art right now and then I pack for an out-of-town trip for the weekend. I will pick EADM on Day#6 with some fun with the fall pictures. Happy Trails Everyone!

Mandalas and Good Music Go Together

2009-11-04T17:30:00.011-05:00

So...It Has Begun

Day #3 of the Art Every Day Challenge has continued into Day #4, which is today. Over the past few days I have been multi-tasking—both spending time with a Mandala I am working on trying to finish and slowly uploading some of the CD's from my music collection that never seemed to make it into my 30 GB ipod the first time around. I think in the beginning I had no concept of how much music it would take to actually fill up a 30 GB capacity...which is a lot! I originally selected some of the tried and true CD's and artist's from my collection that I knew that I listened to frequently or that I just could not see living without. Some good ones found there way in there in that first round, but I was to discover there were still some sweet ones left to be savored.

Music Moves Me

Over the last two years, I have also downloaded a number of new albums and singles from itunes to add to my ipod collection, but I had never found my way back around to see if there were still any CD's that did not get put on my ipod during my original selection time. I am now reassessing what remaining music I have in my collection and listening, remembering and making selections of those that I might have forgotten and those that still held a special place or memory in my heart. So, while I sipped some green tea...wishing it was wine, but refusing to open a bottle in the middle of the day with still so much to do, I did art and listened to CD's to begin the assessing process.

I am still working on the finishing touches of this Mandala which should hopefully round out later this evening after I go to the gym, but here are just a few snapshot details of it's progress from this mornings session. I have a lot of detail work to still add in, but, you can see some of what I am adding to the pastels in the gecko lizard area and the bursts of light rays. While I worked and listened, I came upon some gems of music that I had forgotten were in my collection and I found them to be new "must haves" on my ipod. Some of those included some obscure, but lovely ones such as: Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood Soundtrack, The Eagles-Desperado, David Bowie-Ziggy Stardust & The Spiders from Mars, John Coltrane-Blue Train, Four Bitchin' Babes-Beyond Bitchin', George Benson & Earl Klugh-Collaboration, and even a couple of choice tracks from The Doors-Greatest Hits to get me thinking "way back". I was not old enough to enjoy the original Doors chart releases in the late 60's and early 70's but I came to love them in college. Ah, the memories.

Overall, a nice day...AND it was even productive! What a plus! If you had to pick one or two albums that really made an impact on you or that you remember sticking out from your past, what would those be? Don't be shy...we all have them.

Creativity In All Forms

2009-11-03T16:02:00.004-05:00

Day #2 of Art Every Day Month
I started an art project for day two very last night, at about 11:30 p.m., and even though I told myself that it could still count for day two, it really flowed mostly into day three, which is today—so I will post on that when it is done. As you can see from my last posting, I will be posting about each day's saga of this artistic journey on the following day. This gives me time to process what was done the day before and to have time to actually post something. So here we go.

After deciding that my starting of art on day 2 at 11:30 p.m. could still qualify toward my personal commitment to this month's challenge...since there are really no requirements that a whole piece of art is actually completed everyday, in the end, I chose not to use it. I remembered that I had started reading a new book The Creative Habit: Learn It And Use It For Life by Twyla Tharp, earlier yesterday while I sipped my coffee and ate my oatmeal while I woke up. I lingered a little longer that morning allowing myself to consume more of the pages of this intriguing book while my cat and dog cuddled up close to me and my warm blanket on the couch.

So, this is my day #2 qualifying bit of art in my day. A good book, cuddling with my pets, and warm coffee all of which are creative stimulants and qualify in my mind as an AEDM accomplishment. What things stimulate your creative thinking and warm feelings these days?

Fear Still Lives Within Me...and It Breathes Deeply Today

2009-11-02T21:25:00.004-05:00

Create Art Everday, November 1
Today is the first day of the Art Every Day Challenge hosted by Leah Piken Kolidas that I have committed myself to undertake for my own creative growth. My luck would have it that the first day of art making would also be the day that I unexpectedly had to drive all the way to Chicago and back (about a 3 1/2 hour drive one way) to take my daughter back to college from a weekend visit home. My drive would have originally been slightly under 2 hours, one way to the Michigan City, Indiana, train depot. BUT, as we stood alone at the train station and wondered aloud why there were not more people traveling to Chicago on this Sunday night, we slowly began to read the digital sign above the depot that told us that there would be no scheduled train run that evening leaving from that depot due to some unexpected work being done on the tracks. The message told us that we could catch the train in Gary, Indiana (another half hour south). Needless to say, we could not get to Gary, Indiana by the time the next train left and we missed it by 5 minutes.

At this point, the next train was another hour and a half later and I was only 32 miles from Chicago...so my daughter got curbside service to her dorm at DePaul University in Lincoln Park. As I traveled home I remembered that it was November 1st and I had not done any art that day. I am embarrassed to say that a significant part of me breathed a sigh of relief and cautiously thought...oh, a good excuse to use, "I did not have the time". As I thought about that initial gut reaction, I realized that I was still very much afraid of what I was undertaking and if that was the case, I might be truer to myself to try to recognize the fear and to use the art to work with that fear. I remembered a book that I had read on fearing our own artwork (one of many I have plowed through over the years) and a quote came to mind.

"The function of the overwhelming majority of your artwork is simply to teach you how to make the small fraction of your artwork that soars. One of the basic and difficult lessons that every artist must learn is that even the failed pieces are essential." David Bayles & Ted Orland, Art & Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking

Is what I fear my own failure of my work? I have struggled with that repeatedly through the years and still it haunts me. This quote is right; cognitively I KNOW it is right. Every logical part of me: the art teacher; the social worker; the future art therapist; the student; all agree that it is right. Nevertheless, the artist in me is terrified of failure. I have personally experienced and have studied enough therapy to know that this fear is stroked by my little "inner critic" which is also sometimes formed or at least influenced greatly by my "inner child". Neither of which realizations seem to comfort me when I actually undertake the art process.

I Must Leap Before I Can Fall
I believe for the art process to be real and authentic it must be emotional and that is should be felt from deep within our being. This is where I think I get caught, I fear leaping into it. I fear that deep emotion can sometimes arise from this process. I know from past experience with art that if I can just get started...just put a toe over the edge and get it wet...I can allow myself the freedom to fall into it and in doing so, I feel free during the creative flowing of the art. It is only again after the process is completed, that the fears arise again. I decided that this time I was going to look at this as an art therapy project and let the fear doodle it's way out to be seen, acknowledged and comforted ritualistically by talking to it and recognizing it's concerns. Sometimes, I have found that letting the fear appear in visual form to me takes some of its power away.

A New Tool For Drawing
I created the painting above in "Brushes" which is an iphone painting application. I have seen some of the hype about the cover of the New Yorker Magazine being created from this and I was a little curious. I also visited the flicker group of artists who were playing with this new tool. The beauty of this choice of media for me was that it was a new application for me so I was providing myself with a bit a way out of "creating a great art". I told myself that I could just play and let my apprehensions play out in the doodling aspect of a new process with no pressure. As I looked at the work once it was created, some things came into my mind. The unconscious choice of drawing some sort of a fruit suggested to me a feeling of wholeness of being and a comfort by the fruit remaining intact. The idea of biting into the middle of this fruit seemed both reproachable and delectable at the same time. It also struck me how much the fruit looked like a heart...and a "purple" heart at that. Hmm...a purple heart of bravery? Oh how art can reveal, even when we are not looking for as much introspection.

Off to the races, or let the eating begin!

Onward I trudge into day two, which is well into itself as I write this post about day one. I hope to still get some art done...though I will need to rely heavily on this first sketch, and it's purple heart as I move forward in the month long challenge. Baring my heart, which often reflects my soul, as I explore this art making is a journey that I am on. I am going to try and just let things happen as they will and I will be trying to hold my judgments at bay with each endeavor. Fear can be both a strong motivator and a serious foe on this road to enlightenment.

What are the types of things that you fear? Do you often have difficulties or fears around your art or have you accepted a personal challenge that makes you a little uneasy? What types of ways do you try to overcome your fears? I would love to hear from some of you and maybe out of your feedback we could start a list of "Proven Ways to Move From Fear to Success"...hmm...maybe another blog in the works.

An Art Challenge for 30 Days

2009-10-23T23:53:00.010-04:00

"Whaaaaaaaaaat have I done?" I am crying aloud to myself. I signed up recently for Leah Piken Kolidas's Art Every Day Month challenge @http://creativeeveryday.com/art-every-day-month that starts on November 1st. I guess I am having buyers remorse, and I have not even purchased anything. Maybe it should be called "creativity remorse" in my case. I am telling myself that I am very creative and that I should not have to worry about a 30 day challenge to make art every day. If I really think about it, I do a lot of creative things every day and Leah mentions that those creative things can be defined as broadly or as narrowly as you would like; anything from making a creative dinner, finding a creative way to save money, taking a creative outing, or just producing creative art. It's all about just recognizing and honoring that creative aspect of yourself everyday. I should be able to do that right?...then why is it still scary to me?

Riding the Roulette Wheel of Fear Again
I am reminded again of my sketch from my last blog post. How often this idea of fear creeps into my life. In response to my confession to her that I was a bit afraid of this new challenge, Leah wrote, "Fear is a good thing." She suggested that this might mean that the challenge is important to me and that "I might be at my creative edge, which is exciting". I guess the truth be known, I am both afraid AND excited to begin something new.

I have listened to several people over the years tell me to just "Do It Afraid", which is a concept that others make sound far easier than it actually is to accomplish. This shortened mental affirmation appears to reflect the essence of another quote that I have visited periodically during my life. Eleanor Roosevelt, a woman of great courage and strength once said "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing that you think you cannot do." I can not say that I would consider creating art every day a "horror" in itself, but my fear always revolves around failure or not "getting it right".

Listening To My Own Inner Voice and
Taking Notes
Listening to my own small "innerspirit" soul voice...and not "The Inner Critic's" voice that is always shouting louder to be heard, is something that I have to consciously decide to do each time that I set out to do something that makes me feel "butterflies in my stomach". I need to take more stock in some of the things that have told my clients and students over the years when they have experienced these feelings. I tried to make a mental list today of what some of those encouraging words or concepts were, since usually they came to me during the moments when someone was stuck, a group was staring at me with paint brushes frozen in their hands and terror in their eyes, or when someone was complaining that they had no artistic talent and lamenting that the things that they drew or painted never were any good. Here is the mental list I came up with to reflect on as I undertake this new month long art challenge. It comes from some of my favorite quotes, concepts that were shared with me by my own mentor/teachers, and from my own general stumblings through my art and life journey.

Do you know what FEAR stands for ? False Evidence Appearing Real. (I always loved that one)
Everyone is artistic. We are born with the gift to create. When I give a 6 year old child a piece of paper and a brand new set of 64 crayons, you do not ever hear them say that they are not an artist or that they cannot draw. That is a learned concept. Someone, several someone's and/or society have told you that you are not artistic, it's just not true.
"Fear is the prison of the heart." Anonymous
"Courage is doing what you are afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." Eddie Rickenbacker
Art is subjective. The concept of what makes "good art" and who is an "artist" are society created paradigm's.
Remember the Impressionists? Monet, Cézanne, Renoir, Gauguin, etc? No one would discount that they are great artists and as such, their paintings hang in world class art museums. During the Renaissance, these artist's were denied the opportunity to show their work in the prominent french "Salon" which was the most well known and elite art show of it's time in Europe. They were not only denied for many years in a row, but they were told that their works were not any good and that they would never be successful. This certainly is something to think about.

I believe wholeheartedly in Ambrose Redmoon's quote that "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." This judgement has kept me trudging forward all these years. I am not perfect. I suppose that I am what some people would refer to as a "work in progress", but I am real. As I get older I am trying very hard to accept my own authenticity and cut myself a little slack. I have made progress and each little step along the way is helpful. At least I am "Doing It" sometimes even when I am afraid. I think that owning our fear is a huge step in our own personal growth.

Lastly, when I am really floundering and I need to make life a little lighter and let the anxiety lift, I take a long, deep breath in and long, slow breath out and remember "A woman is like a tea bag—you never know how strong she is until she's in hot water." –Eleanor Roosevelt. That one always makes me smile.

What things do you fear? How have you handled the fear or what tools/resources have you used to help you to cope with your fears? I would love to hear from you.

The Roulette Wheel of Life

2009-10-16T10:53:00.010-04:00

I have been thinking a lot about this sketch that I did about a year and a half ago during a worship service in my church. I usually find myself sketching thoughts that come into my mind that are evoked from particular ideas surrounding the topic of the day. Doing these types of sketches and other larger color paintings or drawings during these moments have provided me with a wealth of knowledge about my innerspirit and things that are going on in my heart and soul.

What Color Will You Choose?

Often, these images generate questions or queries about areas of my life that I was unaware were either problematic or challenging. This sketch is a perfect example of how this process provides me with knowledge about my unconscious thoughts or fears and helps me to crystallize behaviors or patterns that are reflective of how I live my life or should be living my life. I can see the two sides of my personality reflected very vividly in this artwork. My conservative, and analytical "Don't Do It" side and my opposing passionate, adventurous side saying "Dive In, It Will Be Okay."

Taking a Ride on the Wheel

This sketch constantly continues to remind me that my fears are often much bigger in my own mind than they really are in the big picture of life. As I reflect on it, time and time again, I realize that I miss out on a lot of experiences in my life because I allow myself to get so caught up in analyzing and predetermining the outcomes, that I miss opportunities for experiences that might be very fulfilling and energizing. I am trying to learn that there is a healthy balance in "playing devil's advocate" around the safety or practicality of certain choices in my life but at the same time not allowing that overly analytical side to become a fear monger which squelches the life right out of me. Sometimes, I believe it is healthier to just hop on the red square on the wheel, take the risk to experience the moment and all the feelings, sounds, sights, and emotions that those moments in life provide and know that when the wheel stops you can just get off at the next stop. It doesn't matter whether the square is red or black. You still can always get off life's track for a while if you want to and explore how the new place feels to you, or you can just roll yourself back onto the wheel and go around again. There are always choices in this life, the question I just need to ask myself more often is whether I am willing to take the risks to be able to explore the wealth of experiences that are out there, or if I will allow the fearful side of my personality to freeze me into stagnancy? I am trying to choose to play the game of life a little more aggressively and to take more risks.

Are there any risks you are trying to wrestle with or areas you feel stagnant in?

Re-experiencing the Bliss

2009-10-03T16:44:00.005-04:00

It is interesting how even though we sometimes hate limiting certain things in our lives that we "love", or we know that having them or participating in them everyday or at least very frequently, could mean making decisions about our lives that are not nutritiously sound, mentally balanced or healthy for our bodies and our lives in general. Often, we "crave" these vices, whether they are people, things, or behaviors. What I noticed today was what I will call "Re-experiencing the Bliss".

Morning Ecstacy

I have been dieting for several months or as I like to think of it "focusing on a healthy diet that I can sustain for my lifetime, with the short term goal of losing some weight". I have been focusing more consciously on creating a very healthy eating lifestyle that I hope will sustain me into my second half of life...5o is looming for me on the near horizon. This conscious restriction or moderation of some things that I love, but which may not be the best FOR me, has actually increased the pleasure that they bring to me when they are indulged selectively and intelligently. I was overwhelmed by this new discovery today!
I arose to a dreary and rainy day so I decided that I was going to treat myself to a hazelnut latte (my personal favorite coffee of choice). As I arrived at the coffee shop, I asked the person who took my order to be sure and make it with skim milk and sugar-free hazelnut,—I was being decadent...but still making some healthy choices by keeping my calorie count to 150 calories. My biggest indulgence came when I miraculously found myself ordering a toasted Asiago Cheese bagel with garlic hummus. Whew! Should I do it? My mind flowed quickly through the calculations and ramifications of this decadent indulgence and I let the order fly! A Calorie/Carbohydrate "upper"...and I was in heaven as I slowly bit into the luscious creation and enjoyed it's seductive qualities.

Life's Decision Making

Our conscious moderation of these types of life's indulgences makes the times that we do "treat" ourselves to them all the more wonderful, as long as we think about balance in our lives...and don't go over the top never to return to our level of homeostasis. It is good to "feed our soul" sometimes with decadent things in life. In my case, I enjoyed a fairly low calorie latte by ordering it with skim milk and the sugar-free syrup (about 150 calories) and the extra carbs and calories of the bagel and hummus (about 500) will fall into an extra 30 minutes of aerobic workout at the gym during my normal routine today. I was aware of the consequences, intelligent about the choices that I made, and I allowed myself a wonderfully savory experience that "fed my soul" and my appetite.
Like anything in life, I believe that going into things with our eyes wide-open, a sufficient knowledge base of the items at hand, and having a sound plan to manage the after effects of our choices in life can help to keep all areas of our life in a healthy balance. By not allowing ourselves to go overboard everyday and weeks and months at a time, with decadent choices we can help ourselves remain healthy in our mind, body and spirit AND as an added bonus, we are actually increasing the richness and the "heaven sent" quality and enhancing our ability to savor special moments in life such as my lovely coffee and bagel morning on this dreary, rainy fall day.

Dusting Out the Cobwebs

2009-08-18T16:43:00.004-04:00

I originally started this blog over a year ago, with the intention of using it as a reflection tool for myself, and any one that happened to decide to read and follow my ramblings here in cyberspace. After a year of inactivity, I have revamped the Blog's "look and feel" to be more representative of the direction that I am taking now with my life and my career. The name of the Blog will stay the same. The name still resonates as being the core essence of my search and inquiry here. I will be making a regular effort to write new posts and to get back into writing down some of the reflections that have been swirling around in my mind for the last year without anywhere to really go, other than into my artwork, or to drive my family and friends nuts. Even though my art provides me with an opportunity for expression and inquiry about myself and the world around me, often, my artwork and even the process of actually making it, provides me with more concepts, questions and enlightened ideas or emotions that I feel need the added element of the written word to more fully flush them out. I hope to use this blog as a support for that process and as a way to expand on some of the concepts and ideas that I am incorporating in my own art and the work that I do with my healing art sessions with others. Please come back again, and I promise, this time there will be something else to see...I can't guarantee that it will be "profound", I can only guarantee that it will be "authentic" and from my heart.